Neutral Buoyancy Lab
NASA
Dear Mr. Petruna,
Thank you for your courageous actions to save AirTran Airways Flight 297 from being hijacked by Islamic terrorists. If you had not been on board, (OK, you weren't actually on board, but you know what I mean--if you had not been pretending to be on board) no one would have stopped foreigners from speaking foreign words into cellphones on the airport tarmac.Who else would have noticed that the form of Spanish they spoke was grammatically identical to Arabic, or that their western dress was in fact the traditional Arabic thawb and ghutra an iqal, or that the two men actually numbered eleven? And who else would have known that terrorists always hold a semi-public showing of their home-made porn before they commit an act of terrorism?
You noticed all this remotely, from a thousand miles away.
But then, as you note, it's the kind of thing we should expect from a Texan. Our Glorious Leader (ret.), George W Bush, witnessed it recently. Photos from his Christmas party show his house packed with invisible Texans.
And that makes me wonder if Osama bin Laden might also hail from the Lone Star State.
Think about it. Here's a guy who plotted 9/11 from Iraq by being in Afghanistan and leads the current insurgency from his HQ in Afghanistan via his hideout in Pakistan.
My God, the man is as Texan as Tom Landry.
Someone should notify Debbie Schlussel.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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