Sen. Margaret Dayton
Utah State Senate
Dear Sister Sen. Dayton,
Congratulations on the passage of your bill to punish women whose "reckless acts" lead to miscarriages. Finally, the state has the hammer it needs to ensure that the sisters follow the Word of Wisdom that God passed onto the Prophet Joseph.
Now, when one of our wilder, caffeine-enslaved sisters has a miscarriage, we can accuse her of recklessness, and lock her up, away from the temptations of coffee, tea, Pepsi, and Mountain Dew. More importantly, our pregnant sisters who live in BYU's married housing will now think twice before heading off campus to find a coke machine.
But what if they should drink Dr Pepper in secret so no record of their recklessness exists? Shouldn't simply having a miscarriage be sufficient evidence that a woman acted recklessly? Brother Glen Beck must think so. That's why he rebukes those who miscarry.
Let's simply jail them all. Better yet, let's put the reckless not-men in stocks so the righteous can poke them with pointed sticks and shower them with rotten fruit.
Heterosexually yours, in a chaste, biblical, and Zarahemlan kind of way.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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