Candidate for Congress
3rd District, New Mexico
Dear Mr. Mullins,
I see you've dropped your plan to line the borders with landmines and are now urging the national labs to find a futuristic method of preventing border crossings. I guess you're pretty much open to any idea since you didn't offer any details other than to say it should be all sciency and cool.
I have an idea I'm sure you'll like. Imagine you're an immigrant trying to sneak across the border. Suddenly, you hear a loud Bruce-Lee_like shriek, and, turning toward the sound, you find yourself face to face with a big ass robot doing karate moves. That'd scare the heck out of you, wouldn't it? I bet you'd hightail it back over the border as quickly as possible. If not, you'd get yourself a Chick-Norris-level butt kicking.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Karate zombies are more scary than karate robots. I agree with you, but you can't add Transformer® technology to a zombie. My karate robots will be able to transform into robo-morale-donkeys with Enhanced Vibrating Action®. Think about how happy that'll make all those lonely minutemen down on the border. Heck, I could even program them to recite Ayn Rand quotes while our border defenders have their minute (or five seconds--whatever it takes).
We should get together and discuss the details. I could bring my Pocket Donkey if you're interested in testing the technology.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot