Founder, San Diego Minutemen
Commander, SDMM Bikini Commandos
Dear Commander Schwilk,
Toleranceofascists are using your connection to the "Mexican Invasion" story to attack your credibility. Noting that the Laredo Police Department, the Webb County Sheriff’s Department, and the U.S. Border Patrol have all called your claim a reeking pile of breitbart, some are concluding that you may be lying.
We can't allow the reputation of such an important a soldier in the Holy Eternal War to Resubjugate the Brown to be assaulted like this--especially, now, after the hit you took in the "short-dicked man" scandal. You're far too important.
You need to act, and you need to act now. It should be simple enough--Put on your prettiest bikini and go down to those ranches the Mexicans are holding. We'll shoot video of the occupation while you distract them with various pin-up poses. Then, we'll release it to Breitbart to be aired on all the news channels.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Video: Commander Schwilk's fashion show begins at 1:30-you may not want to watch this at work.