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Friday, August 27, 2010

The Opinuary Column



i have dreamed a wild dream
i have suckled so obscene
i have taken many hits
i must be really lit
i'm having a strange fit
i see three hundred million and ten
three hundred and ten million tits

i was fumbling with her bra
a billion hooks that grab like claws
i would woo her with my wits
we should be putting on the Ritz
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

oh, momma
oh, momma
valhala
wow-wowza
oh, my darling
oh, darling momma
man, you have a lot of tits

i brought her close for just a taste
not a drop would i dare waste
let me cradle with my mitts
like fine cherries without pits
three hundred and ten million--that's a whole lot of tits

we were kissing at the bar
then i walked her to my car
she is smart, she ain't no ditz
she filled my heart with so much bliss
and she had so many tits!

i was fumbling with her bra
a billion hooks that grab like claws
i would woo her with my wits
we should be putting on the Ritz
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

oh, momma
oh, momma
valhala
wow-wowza
oh, my darling
oh, darling momma
man, you have a lot of tits

now i'm old and low on cash
putting ointment on my rash
i still have a burning need
i need those tits so i can feed
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

i have dreamed a wild dream
i have suckled so obscene
i have taken many hits
i must be really lit
i'm having a strange fit
i see three hundred million and ten
three hundred and ten million tits

i was fumbling with her bra
a billion hooks that grab like claws
i would woo her with my wits
we should be putting on the Ritz
please somebody: somebody help me with these tits

oh, momma
oh, momma
valhala
wow-wowza
oh, my darling
oh, darling momma
you have got so many tits


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Public domain image of She Wolf suckling Romulus and Remus from WIKIMEDIA COMMONS.

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3 comments:

  1. Funny, when I think of Alan "Abe Simpson" Simpson and the other members of the Social Security and Eating Cat Food Commission, I don't think of "tits." I think of boobs...

    ReplyDelete
  2. That Simpson, what a royal boob ...

    Anything of a co-operative nature and it's all dismissed as nanny state.

    Ask any of these clowns what makes them proud to be American, and from my past experience they'd list the space program, the military, etc, ALL OF WHICH ARE CO-OPERATIVE (ie SOCIAL) VENTURES!

    I haven't heard too many of them gush about how proud they are of Bill Gates' $40 billion ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    Alan Simpson is prolly not no awthority on teh TaTa's but knows him some Dick, like his fellow Whineomian, TheDorkLordCheney.

    It will be nice when Al has him a stroke and gets to have his ass wiped (or not) by some minimum wage person.

    At least now I unnerstand why the Impalinator gots to kill all the wolves--It's the tits, stupid!

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.