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Friday, January 14, 2011

McCain: "RIM.Jobs make me wanna whistle"

Once again, Jesus' General is honored to have Sen. John McCain guest posting here. Please be respectful in your comments.
--The General

Thanks again, General, for allowing me to use your electric typing intertubes pamphlet machine to communicate with your readers.

Those of you who are not as technically savvy as I am, may have never heard of Research In Motion (RIM). It's the company that manufactures the Blackberry electric far-talking/far-writing machine I invented.

They have something new I want to share with you. It's a career development thing you can join using an electric typing intertubes pamphlet machine. They call it Rim.Jobs. Go ahead, type RIM.Jobs into your electric typing pamphlet machine right now. See, there it is.

I love RIM.Jobs. RIM.Jobs put a smile on my face. RIM.Jobs make me wanna whistle. Heck, I was in the office earlier, and this lobbyist said, "Senator, why are you so happy today?" I answered "RIM.Jobs make me happy," and whistled. Everyone there was so stunned to see me that happy, no one said a word until an intern giggled. He must like RIM.Jobs too.

I'm exploring the world of Rim.Jobs all the time, now--you know, poking, probing, digging in there, lapping it up, really getting a taste of all RIM.Jobs have to offer.

I think my teabagging supporters would love RIM.Jobs too. I'm going to tell them all about RIM.Jobs the next time they have a teabagging event. It'll be good for them. RIM.Jobs will put smiles on all their faces. Lord knows they all need RIM.Jobs badly.

Well, it's getting close to dinner time. I've got to go. I'd hate to miss the salad tossing.

Elsewhere: Dr. McCain's Amazing Black-Berry


  1. I hate to break it to almostPresident Mc5plane, but RIM is a company based up north in Candidiasis, not the USA. So he better get on a Cleveland Steamer and head right on back across Lake Erie to give us some jobs here.

  2. General, Sir:

    We've been offering RIMjobs at "Feelin' Good Gents' Club" forevah! You come in on tuesdays, drink some cheap well crap for $11.50 a pop, ogle the babes and we'll give you a RIMjob while-u-wait. We've even got a VD* special coming up. If you come in before 5:00 PM and know the "safe word", you get, in addition to your RIMjob, an awesome tune-up that will absotively blow the junk out of your pipes.

    The best part, Sir? It's all FREE**

    *Valentine Day

    ** Except for a small "one time" registry fee, shipping and handling fee and currency conversion charge (we convert your money into ours). Average charges, not counting interest (71% per month), run about $1,739.63. Sorry, this offer is "cash only"--and due to a glitch at our printers we cannot supply written receipts.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.