J Matt Barber
Heterosexual Lifestyle Activist
Dear Mr. Barber,
I saw your tweet about the appearance of Revelation's pale horseman in Cairo. I've looked at the video, and I have to disagree with the salacious description of the figure as an "erect rider atop a horse in Medieval-like barding."
First of all, it's not a rider on a horse. Take a close look at it. It's obviously a guy on a riding mower, and the supposed erection is nothing more than his arm reaching for the steering wheel.
Still, it's an important sign from God that the end days are at hand. If you enlarge the video, you'll see that the name "Joe" appears in fiery greenish tones beneath the riding mower. That means this ghostly figure is "Joe the Mower," the second Regular Guy of the Apocalypse (the first being Joe the Plumber). Soon, he'll be followed by the rest of the Village People Regular Guys of the Apocalypse, "Joe the Cattle Inseminator" and "Joe the Coffee Shop Ranter," and then the tribulations begin.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot