Fellow Palin Warrior
Dear Mr. Carpenter,
I saw your letter to Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend. Thank you for setting her straight. There's just something about that woman that causes me to question her commitment to the heterosexual lifestyle. What do you think?You were spot on when you addressed Ms Spaulding's snide remarks about Gov. Palin's qualifications by calling the Obamunist usurper a community organizer. It's true. While Obama was community organizing, Gov. Palin was performing important tasks for the public good--things like tee vee weather reporting and shooting moose. Community organizers don't shoot moose. Heck, I bet Obama hasn't killed a damned thing.
Gov. Palin ran to become Alaska's governor with one goal in mind--to get her brother-in-law fired from the Alaska State Troopers. Once she accomplished that goal, she quit. You have to admire her for that. As far as I know, Obama hasn't gotten a single brother-in-law fired. That says a lot about him. He likes being president too much to try to achieve such a goal.
And then there's the difference in education. Obama only went to two universities. Gov. Palin attended five!
I like the cut of your jib. We could use someone with your letter writing abilities in the Palin Defense Organization I recently founded. We meet once a month at the compound to discuss strategy and tactics.
The meetings are very intense, so at the end, we lighten things up by putting on wigs, tucking in our thingies, and doing a little Sarah dance. Sometimes it gets out of hand and we have to spank each other with great and terrible spatulas of repentance to redeem ourselves for committing sick, depraved acts of unspeakable immorality, but it's all good. It brings us closer together.
I hope you'll join us.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
OMG, Jesus, you are so funny.
ReplyDeleteYe gods, JC, you're right. Tucking be damned...that's a fine way to end an evening.
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ReplyDeleteOi! Obama DID hunt and kill his own Arugula once. I think Arugula is the Hawaiio-Kenyan word for 'Big F$%#-off Lion', which growing up in a Kenyan Madrassa, he would have had just outside his house. I think he did it to protect the muslim extremist community he was organising to bomb America. I'm pretty sure he did.
ReplyDeleteI think barry went to 3 universities..(but he cheated...he went to law school after getting his bachelors degree) started at occidental, transferred to columbia, then harvard law..
ReplyDeleteOops! I apologize to Mz. Spaulding. I got her mixed up in my mind with Pamalama "Tatas Shrugged" Yeller. I think about the latter Pammer's over-the-shrugger boulder holders almost as much as I do futureVP Sarah's. Not that there's anything unthinkable about Pam Spaulding's bazooms. It's just that she doesn't flaunt them like the Islamopamophobic one.
ReplyDeleteHere's my response to Billy Boy. They just never learn the inherent danger of attacking one of our own.
ReplyDeleteI jolly well hope Mr. Carpenter accepts a friendly rogering when he gets to the compound. Good for the bowels it is--he'll be right as rain after a few hours of patriotic spartan rodeo.
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ReplyDeleteI found this picture of Sarah at http://www.zazzle.com/sarah_para_bellum_2012_poster-228118176066278091
ReplyDeleteand, judging by the casual way s/he's strangling that snake, I don't think thingie tucking is required when doing the Sarah dance.