Majority Leader
Wisconsin State Senate
Dear Majority Leader Fitzgerald,
You struck a great blow for the ownership society, yesterday, when you denied Demislamunistofascist staffers access to the Senate copy machines. Sure, some might call your action "petty," but it will certainly prevent these traitors to the corporate order from sitting on the copiers to reproduce that sacred moment when you offered yourself up to service our Kochian overlords.But I have to wonder if denying copier access is enough. Shouldn't you deny them paper clips and staples as well. Lord knows that the fastening of documents is as subversive an act as one can commit. After all, staples brought down capitalism in Egypt and Tunisia.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Geneal, Sir:
ReplyDeleteWhatever the Obergruppenführer, er, I mean Majority Leader deems necessary to ensure racial puri--. um, adherence to verordnung, excuse me, "suggestions" emenating from Kochsucker Central.
Well you don't crack down with full force all at once! You gotta ramp up the pressure slowly, because the citizenry gets upset if it looks like a governfuhrer is acting tyrannical.
ReplyDeleteFirst you pass laws saying that Democratreasonous staffers have to wear yellow stars or something similar when they're in the statehouse, so Real Americans©®℗℠™ can spit on them when they pass them in the corridors. Then you send mobs of patriotkkkochal citizens to break the windows at their district offices and private homes -- call it "Kochstallnacht" or something. Next, you make them move their offices to nasty places, like in windowless basement rooms, which just so happen to have leaky pipes and no heating (after you send in "Joe the Plumbers" to make it happen, heh-heh.)
It's not enough to have the SState Police hunting down the leaders of the Democratreasonous henchmen who have fled across the border into France -- I mean, Illinois. If there are no policemen who will write tickets on these staffers for driving across the centreline or having a broken taillight (again, heh-heh) because those liberal cops have sided with the socialist unions which have gotten them their good pay, then deputize some highly efficient private SSecurity OfficerSS from a patriotikkk company like Blackkkwater. Pay 'em piecemeal for every ticket they write, with added bonuses for any Democratreasoner who is shot while fleeing to avoid arrest.
If you increase the pressure bit by bit, while using SState Propaganda Organs to denounce the Democratreasoners constantly, then it won't be such a shock to the sheople -- excuse me, citizens -- when you finally unleash the Staple Solution.
The best part was putting deadbolts into the sides of windows so no one could open them and then lopping off the deadbolt heads so no one ever will. Haha. Starve them protesters. Fire regs are for wussies.
ReplyDeleteAnybody else watch "The American Experience" episode on the soon-to-be-defunded Public Broadcasting System? It aired here where I live--it's called "The Motor City" but I don't for the life of me know why--last night. It was about these non-men New York City garment workers who went on strike in 1910 and won, only to see their factory catch fire a matter of only a few weeks later, killing 146 of them. The moral of the story (clearly, in my view)was this: Union membership=Burning in Hellfire. Therefore, I, for one, thank the republicans in Wisconsin for sparing the lives of public employees across that fine state.
ReplyDeleteI believe an earlier version of Martin Niemöller's statement captures this perfectly:
ReplyDeleteFirst they came for the staplers, but I did nothing for I used a binder.
Then they came for paperclips, but I did nothing for I had a hole punch and string.
Then they came for the colour photocopier, and there was nothing left to print.
Ne'er truer words typed in this troubled time.
PS. I believe UberPatriot Bukko's Blackwater SSecurity OfficerSS are actually part of a Blackwater internal security group for maintaining the political peace. The members are usually referred to 'Brownwaters'.