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Sunday, April 10, 2011

J.Crew Trying to Steal Men's Uteri, Masculinity, and Make Us All Socialist and Kenyany

Brent Bozell
Founder and President
Media Research Center

Dear Mr. Bozell,

As you note in your "Action Alert," J.Crew offended the Lord God of Abraham and Mrs. Bozell, Our Lady of the Blue Bouffant, with a recent emailing. Indeed, the incorrigible clothing purveyor spat on all that is holy with its ad featuring a photo of a young boy's hot pink toenails.

That in itself is enough to justify calling down the wrath of your Great and Terrible Mailing List of the Relentless Rebuke, but J.Crew took it a step further by celebrating the boy's love for the feminine hue: "Lucky for me," the ad copy trumpets, "I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink."

It's no wonder you responded with such a harsh reprimand as this:
J.CREW, a popular preppy woman's clothing brand and favorite affordable line of first lady Michelle Obama, is targeting a new demographic - mothers of gender-confused young boys. At least, that's the impression given by a new marketing piece that features blatant propaganda celebrating transgendered children.
But one has to wonder why you missed the other parts of the ad that were designed to corrupt our children. They're all just as obvious as the toenails. Why didn't you note them?

Take a look at the mother, "Jenna," or, more specifically, what's behind her. It's a drawing of a uterus, a vile piece of pornography, and its positioning behind Jenna suggest that the uterus is her property. It's anti compelled childbirth heresy!

Now, take a look at the boy, "Beckett," wearing glasses. He's been made to look like Ira Glass, a known public radio broadcaster. It's a God damned socialist recruiting poster.

Take a close look at the crayons and you see all of the colors of THE HOMOSEXUALIST FLAG!


How could the Media Research Center, of all groups, miss such enticements to iniquity? Could it be that your staff has been compromised by secret toleranceofascists or worse?

I think it's time to consider replacing Dan Gainor, who, as the T. Boone Pickens Fellow and Vice President of Business & Culture for the MRC, is the man who is ultimately responsible for this mistake. What kind of name is Gainor, anyway? Was it once spelled Gaynor, as in "Gloria Gaynor, the disco queen behind the homosexualist anthem, "I Will Survive?" What is his relationship to her? You should look into that. I'd begin with a toenail examination.

In any event, I've demonstrated my ability to spot immoral subliminal advertising. I'm available should you decide to replace Mr. "Gainor."

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. EEEEEW! Is a wimmen's eucharist blewish-green like that? In spite of my medical job, I stay away from the operating room, after an unfortunate incident involving vomiting and fainting, not necessarily in that order, during nursing school. If that's what's up inside them, it must be vigourously suppressed!

  2. General, Sir:

    I think, respectfully as all fucking hell, that you're asking the wrong question when you ask what sorta name is "Gainor". Pardon my impermanence, but what sorta name is "Brent"--it sounds teh GAY, teh GAYER than Janet Reno's haircut.

  3. Pink toenails are one thing, but Ira Glass glasses?! Shocking.

  4. Thank God for ever alert eyes!
    WAIT ! Jenna! ?
    Now where have I heard that name before ?
    And those crayons !!

    Stay alert and preserve OUR way of life !
    Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition too!

  5. I just want to thank you for your daily dose of sanity.

    Keep up the good work.


  6. A little Focus on the Family Values called for here. How much will it cost to fix the corrupting influence of NPR on our youth. Its not the pthalates in the plastics its in the nail polish. Tricky those liberoislamfagofascists are, wearing "Ira" glasses will not change the myopia of the leftofemofascistoalquedistas. Even the mighty rainbow, the symbol of the mighty One's covenant with the children of Noah is being subverted by the NPRistas and now young not-so-boys are being chemically neutered by pinkos and "rainbow" lovers.Egad General, we are under attack from all sides.

  7. I'm convinced.
    At first, I thought this was a patriotic and christian ad. I thought mommy was conducting enhanced interrogation techniques on a wayward child to discipline him. I thought she was being a good Christian keeping her boy in line by pulling his toenails off exposing the soft, pink flesh underneath when he didn't eat his vegies. Seeing that all his toes were pink, I assumed this kid was just a bit out of control. Now I stand corrected.

    I see that Mommy is grooming her son for the Catholic church. Her dedication is to be admired. I bet with his pink toesy and glasses, Beckett will be the most popular choirboy in years! Well done! Jenna will certainly go to heaven.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.