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Friday, April 29, 2011

My Amazon Review of Donald Trump's cologne

My Amazon Review of Donald Trump's cologne, "Trump The Fragrance for Men," is up. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy smelling like The Donald. Please consider going to Amazon and casting a "helpful review" vote for it if you do.

Here's the review:
5.0 out of 5 stars Bullish, April 28, 2011
Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Trump The Fragrance for Men 3.4 oz Eau de Toilette Spray (Health and Beauty)

Bullish. That's the one word that best embodies both the spirit of Trump, the man, and and the fragrance of his cologne.

Indeed, a bull was the image that immediately formed in my mind the first time I smelled "Trump the Fragrance for Men." I'll never forget that introductory whiff. It seized hold of my entire being, unleashing a storm of olfactory memories that left me gasping from a perch on a long-forgotten "bulling stool."

Authentic Americans, patriots like Joe the Plumber and Donald the Trump, simple men who revere the values of the Heartland, will always remember the joyful hours they spent on a bulling stool. Who could forget the wonderful sense of anticipation you feel as you sit there behind the bull, slowly massaging his glorious bull grenades while you screw up the courage to sniff the holy land--that tract of hide that resides so invitingly between the bull bag and the cave of shame--until, eventually, the wanting overcomes the fear and you thrust your nose hard up against the bull and take a whiff.

That, dear readers, is the musky barnyard smell of "Trump the Fragrance."

But that is only part of the bulling stool experience and its relationship to the Donald. Occasionally, the bull will mistake the grenade massage for a medical examination, and he'll turn his head and cough. When that happens, bovine physiology dictates that the bull forcefully eject the entire contents of its fourth stomach out through its cave of shame. Imagine leaning into that as you're thrusting you nose in for a sniff. It's a breathtaking experience, literally breathtaking. It's also very exhilarating to take the full force of such a load of pure bull in a single sitting. It's the only experience that is comparable to sitting through one of Mr. Trump's speeches. They're the same thing, really.


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  2. General, Sir:

    We got a couplea 55 gallon drums of that stuff in, over to the motor pool, the other day. I thought it was for deodorizing the urinals. My bad.

  3. Boycott the sponsors of "The Apprentice". Email the companies directly with your intent to boycott. I would prefer to kick this guy right in the pills but I'll settle for the wallet and the prestige.

    The list is here:

    They forced the most accomplished black man in America to show his papers. I am so fucking proud.

  4. General... how can i contact you to send you the Stinkin Pinkos cd??

  5. The unprovoked attack on the DT by the leftofeminoislamobamites has stirred my dear mother's compassion button. She teared up about the unfairness of comedy used to get "personal" with "poor" DT. I think my leftist heart of stone considered it a reason to lose bladder control while having a laugh at the DT's expense. Can the DT wear "Al Jolson" make-up and tap-dance his way into her little conservative heart? Tune in and see.

  6. Kent, I'm going to buy it. It sounds like a great album, and the band needs to be supported. At the end of a post a few days ago, I urged my readers to buy it.

  7. so, in short, it smells, if not like victory, at least like winning.

  8. good christ! there's a couple of disturbing visuals there, general. good work.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.