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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Birth Certificate Proves Obama is a Muslim Kenyan

You can bet the OBAMUNIST USURPER is laughing his ass off today--not simply because he fooled the mediaslamunistofascists with his phony, forged birth certificate, but because he taunted them with the truth by putting clues about his real identity in the document.

But I, Orly Taitz, Pamela Geller, and a host of other true patriots know better.

Look closely at this so-called birth certificate and you'll see that the names "Barack," Hussein," and "Obama" form a perfect outline of an Islamic crescent.

Now, let's add a map of Kenya, tilt it so its longest axis touches each horn of the crescent, and then run a line from the word "Kenya" on the birth certificate through the city of Nairobi on the map. It points straight at the word "African."

Finally, by decoding the file number, "151," using a simple number code, we find that it translates to AEA, the abbreviation for The Alliance of Egyptian Americans, an organization of people from the most Muslim part of Kenya.

I'm sure there's much more to be found, and after consulting with Col. Democommie and Col. Canukko, I'm asking for your help finding it. Now I know you're not all forensic document experts like myself and Mrs. Geller, but I think you might find things we missed. Or perhaps you already have evidence of certificatefoolery concocted by other politicians or tabloid personalities. Please send whatever you have to me (for best results: 425 px or less in width) and I'll post it tomorrow.


  1. Thank you for the tip 'o the helmet and the promotion, Mein von Generaal. (As promised for the promo, I will kick back 50% of everything my militia squads loot when we go marauding against the apostate Blue State unbelievers in the upcoming Glorious Civil War of KKKhristian Liberation.)

    But I'm afraid that my feeble imagination cannot create anything remotely approaching the fakery furore surrounding the impostoPrez. The product label I have proving Trump's toupee was manufactured by Chinese prisonslaves from dog hair shaved off shar-pei puppies before they were cooked up and served in "pork buns" doesn't come close to the enormity of the Obama issue. (And I use "enormity" in the English-teacher-approved dictionary meaning of the word.)

    I'm still in awe of how much raw meat the "birth certificate" release has thrown on the fire. It's not just patriotikkkal peepholes like Orly, Pammy and their ilk who are all over this like pixels on a Photoshop program. Karl Deninger, a noted econoblogger who also assures his readers that Gulf of Mexico seafood is safe, the Fukushima nuclear hiccup is nothing to worry about and gold is a bad thing to invest in, has also leapt on the "COLB" debunking. It's like the Tar Baby -- the more that the President's men whack at it, the more it sticks. (And I use "Tar Baby" in the Uncle Remus-approved non-racist meaning of the folk tale's parable.)

    Is America a great nation, or what? Between birth certificate news and something about a wedding in Gaye Olde Englande, I can forget about inconvenient goofs like frag-massacres of American soldiers in the Himalayan Heroin Colony, the abandonment of the valley where that "Restrepo" movie was filmed and other depressing stuff. America might not have the terrrrrrrists, the economic criminals or other malefactors on the run, but she sher can make the "president" squirm. This is even better than all the shark attack news stories in the summer of 2001!

  2. General, Sir:

    I am, like Col. Cannukko, thrilled beyond words at my recent promotion from, what, nothing? to COLONEL. Boy, it's quite a step up. Today, I got "Full Birds" on my nice, new dress uni--yesterday all I had was birdshit on my shoulder.

    I have been busy, as you know, working on that Trailways bus conversion, turning it into a major league UAV* and pooncoach. I will, however, put that project aside, for the nonce. I will leave it in the sure hands of my trusty assistant, Han**--he is a miracle worker when it comes to spontaneous combustion engines.

    I am taking a copy of that doctored doc over to Feelin' Good Gents' Club (I do some of my best thinkin' in that place) and I'll be working on it until the good hooch is gone, or I pass out.

    * Urban Assault Vehicle

    ** Yes, Han is returned to the compound. It seems that his PRNK siblings were NOT thrilled to see him, especially once the Kimchi and 1st Class, AAA MurKKKin Bourbon*** that he smuggled in ran out. It warnt really "bourbon", but it does explain why 14 vehicles in the Motor Pool had empty radiators.

  3. Humpf. I KNEW you were secretly a liberal, General!

  4. BC:

    Ixnay on lowingbay his overcay. The General sometimes has to lie down with the dogs in order to give them fleas. Wait, did that come out the way I intended?

  5. General, Sir:

    I'm sorry, man, Sir. I was up till way past last call and the playing of "Save The Last Lapdance For Me" t'other night, working on that document.

    I actually was able to construct a pretty fair likeness of Darla by "connecting the dots", if you get my drift. Anyway I was going to bring it in on friday, but I went to sleep holding it in one hand. Let's just say the dog ate it, it's for the best, Sir.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.