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Wednesday, June 08, 2011

My Amazon review of Jerome Corsi's book

Below, is my Amazon review of Jerome Corsi's Where's the Birth Certificate? You can see it at Amazon, here. As always, please consider giving it your vote so we can make it the "Most Helpful Favorable Review."
4.0 out of 5 stars The Walrus was Barack, June 7, 2011
Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Where's the Birth Certificate?: The Case that Barack Obama is not Eligible to be President (Hardcover)

The author of this book, Jerome Corsi, is a true patriot. If it wasn't for the critical work he did to undermine John Kerry's status as a genuine American hero, we'd all be reading Sartre and speaking various dialects of Bostonese.

Corsi saved us by exposing Kerry's manipulation of a rift in the time/space continuum to make it appear that he was in Cambodia on Christmas rather than on President's Day. Kerry never recovered from that revelation. George W Bush, who had spent the war heroically searching for Gen. Võ Nguyên Giáp in honkytonks across East Texas, beat Kerry handily in the presidential election.

Now, he's saving America again with this book questioning the citizenship of our current president, Barack Obama. Building on forensic research conducted by Orly Taitz, Law Dentist, Mr. Corsi proves beyond doubt that Obama: (A) is unheartlandishly hued; (B) has a foreign sounding name; and, (C) replaced the staff of the Hawaii Department of Vital Statistics with a dozen malevolent, fist-bumping, dashiki-wearing, document-forging robots and an old Mexican guy who sits at the reception desk and answers phones.

That's enough to earn Where's the Birth Certificate (shouldn't it be No, Not That Birth Certificate) four stars, but it's a shame Mr. Corsi didn't work a little harder to earn that fifth star. By simply applying Sarah Palin's historical research methods, Mr. Corsi could have fully exposed Obama for who he truly is: An Eskimo who embraced the communist ideology of his walrusian foster parents.

You see, Obama is the love child of the Hawaiian crooner, Don Ho, and an Eskimo woman named Kakrayok (One of the hundreds of Eskimo words meaning "ukuleles get her hot.") After a heated fight over poi, the pregnant Kakrayok left Ho and returned to her home in northern Alaska, where she delivered baby Obama.

At the age of two, Obama became separated from his family during a seal hunt on the ice flow. He would have surely died within hours had he not been found by a pupless walrus couple, who, after much barking and flipper clapping, decided to raise him as their own.

Unfortunately, the walruses were members of a Marxist herd that believed in taking care of each other and sharing their fish communally. They indoctrinated their pups in herd schools where they were force fed such concepts as "walrus exceptionalism" and "fishing for the good of the whole." Obama was a quick learner, and soon became the head of his class.

On the day Obama turned 13, the party chairwalrus pulled Obama aside and told him he was going on a special mission. He would be sent to live with a human couple to finish his education, be elected president of the United States, and, then, destroy our nation by turning it into one big godless walrus socialist commune.

The chairwalrus gave Obama two thick stacks of documents to take with him. The first was a plan to use "global warming" to make boat fuel so expensive, Americans would have to buy all their seafood from walruses. The second was a set of design plans to build malevolent, fist-bumping, dashiki-wearing, document-forging robots. The party chairwalrus also gave Obama a bottle of tequila to use to recruit an old Mexican guy for the receptionist position.

Isn't that a much better story? If only Mr. Corsi had taken the time to apply the Palin historical technique, this could have been a 5 star review.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.