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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Redefining Rick Santorum

Yesterday, Dan Savage, the man who gave Brother Rick Santorum his filthy "Google problem," issued a video warning to the former senator, saying he's willing to do it again:
...I think I demonstrated remarkable restraint. I only redefined your last name. I could have redefined your first name too. I still could.

I'll tell you what. I won't redefine Rick if you don't attack gay people during your campaign.

Now, I've already come up with a new definition for "Rick" just in case you don't behave yourself...
Here's the new definition:
Rick (noun) When a man and a woman have both of their genitals fully stimulated and bleeeeeep that have that kind of milkiness that comes from day old sweat and bleep and they're in the position where she can't get her bleeeep back out unless his inner sphincter relaxed and bleep without crying. And if there's blood, he needs to bleep bleep off with a piece of turkey jerky still bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and smell like burning hair and bleep bleep dolphin meat off the back of a cat and bleeeeep keeps scooping out anus loads of bleeeeeeep while a couple next to them bleeeeeeeeeep.
Savage continues:
Look Rick, you don't need another Google problem. If you can get though the rest of the campaign without man-on-dogging us. I'll tear this defintion up.

An assortment of other Ricks--Rick Dees, Ricki Lake. Andy Richter, and more--appear throughout the rest of the video, begging Brother Rick to heed Savage's warning.


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