- Particulate-induced asthma is good for children. It causes them to breath less carbon monoxide.
- No unbiased observer has ever witnessed the female orgasm.
- Oil is organic. It's good for people.
- If God wanted us to have recreational sex, He wouldn't have made sex so off-putting - women wouldn't vomit every time they did it.
- Coal soot acts like sunblock against the deadly effects of chemtrails.
- Preborn girls are created when a sperm person gives up one of his ribs.
- Fish choose to shape their mouths in an obscene manner. It is not an innate characteristic. They can be cured.
- Human civilization began in Branson, Missouri.
- Gravity is a lie. We all have angels pushing down on our heads. Sometimes Catholic priests and protestant youth ministers have to help the angels push down on heads.
- Even animals have angels pushing down on them. Except birds. They're Satanic communists.
- During the rapture, angels will stop pushing down on the righteous.
- Rain doesn't fall. Angels just point their squirtguns downward. Same is true for pee.
- Polar bears are suicidal. They want to become extinct.
- A man's uterus is the only organ that can function outside of his body.
Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender
If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "firstname.lastname@example.org.")Thanks!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Posted by Gen. JC Christian, Patriot
We hear a lot about conservative advancements in creation and climate science, but very little about other great Republican scientific achievements. Here's a list of a few of our most patriotic discoveries:
at 12:16 AM