Of Glory Rods and Glory Rings

Sister Jennifer Lynn Joy, Our Lady of the Miraculous Ice-Melting Salt and the Incredibly Prepared Earrings regales us with the tale of the The Amazing Gold Dust Showering Glory Ring of Cuban Renewal:

...I took the Glory Ring in my hands. My body just began to shake and shake and shake and I just couldn’t handle it. Then I began to be renewed but with a new gift of tongues...And another thing, when I took it back to my room once again I began to shake and this morning when I touched it again God is renewed me and since then, since I touched it, my hands have been full of gold dust. And I thought it was just because of the scarf I’ve been wearing because it has glitter on it but in fact when I looked around my friends around me they didn't have it, they didn't have the gold dust. I went to the bathroom I washed my hands, I really scrubbed them, they were really clean and then when I looked back again, my hands were full of gold dust.

I can only imagine the incredible wealth that could be generated if this glory ring was tapped by one of Sister Joy's new Glory Rods for the Tribes of Israel!

Don't miss out on "His Summons to Pray"

Sister Joy will be in Washington DC this weekend to answer "His Summons to Pray," a gathering of "intercessors for prophetic proclamation, divine declarations and intentional intercessory prayer." For the holy and sacred number of $69.00 US Dollars, you can join her.

The Sunday summons appears to be very special: "Minister Joy will be sharing revelations from the Throne of Grace..." There is no word as to whether she'll bring her "Prepare for the Bride Worship Hammers."

Previous posts about Sister Joy.

Now for something completely different

We don't need no Chinese comin' 'round here and insultin' our greatest almost-American singin' stars with their animated tomfoolery.