Update: I need to get 150 signatures before my petition becomes searchable on the White House website. If you haven't signed, please consider doing so.
God-fearing patriots from all over this cursed nation are petitioning the OBAMUNIST USURPER to allow their states to secede. Looking through them, I was particularly moved by the one for Texas, so I created my own petition asking for that petition to be granted:
We Petition the Obama Administration to Grant the God-Fearing, Tooth-Challenged, Cousin-Wives and Uncle-Husbands of Texas' Petition to Secede from the USYou can sign my petition to the OBAMUNIST USURPER here.
The People of the Great State of Texas are tired of the Government of the United States coming around here with their fancy, high-falutin notions about dental care, non-cousin-marrying, nasal breathing, Lubbock invading, and tolerance toward the unheartlandishly-hued, sodomitarians, and not-men.
A petition has been filed with the White House to "peacefully grant the State of Texas to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government." Currently, that petition has 8,646 signatures. That's nearly half the population of the United States according to God-fearing conservative statistician Dick Morris.
We the undersigned urge you to grant that petition.