Dick's exciting Rose Garden safari

I'm very disappointed with C-Span. I considered them, like Fox, to be one of the few totally balanced and non-partisan media outlets out there until I saw their coverage Of Our Leader's press conference.

It started out well enough with a long range shot of Deputy Leader Dick skulking in the bushes while Our Leader addressed the traitorous White House press corps, Les Kinsolving, and a reporter from Fox. But sadly, that was the only time we got to see Dick.

It wasn't an oversight. C-SPAN deliberately avoided airing more shots of Dick because they didn't want us to see what the Deputy Leader was doing: field dressing the impoverished person he shot that morning.

There can be no doubt C-Span truly hates hunting and the Second Amendment, otherwise, they wouldn't have passed on such great opportunity to allow the Vice President of the United States to share his love of hunting humans with the American people.

It would have been a great interview--Dick telling us how much he enjoys hunting the poor as he dresses his kill, how thrilling it is when he sees the Secret Service releasing his quarry, how satisfying it is to mount his kills, and how he got the authorization to hunt poor people into the Homeland Security Bill without Arlen Specter noticing.

But C-SPAN didn't give us this opportunity to hear Dick tell us about what he loves. Shame on them. I think America is poorer because of it.

From the archives

I had forgotten about this website I found during the Jimmy-Jeff Gannon Guckert controversy. I wonder if it's still up.



Helmet tip: Republic of Palau.

At the movies with Deputy Leader Dick

Reader e_five wrote me asking if I knew whether Deputy Leader Dick had seen the movie Hostel. Well, I poked around and learned that he had. Indeed, he even wrote a review for it and another film, Brokeback Mountain. I've published the reviews for both below. I'm sure Our Deputy Leader would like to hear what you thought of them, so if you're so inclined, you can rate his reviews at IMDB, here and here.

It's the way men bond with each other
Author: TheVeep from an undisclosed location

A few years ago, one of my daughters was accused of liking women rather than men. It seemed like everywhere we went, people would ask us if it was true. Of course we denied it every time, but that didn't stop people from asking.

I guess that's why I get so angry when I hear Brokeback Mountain being described as a homosexual cowboy movie. It's nothing of the sort. It's just a simple story about a very close relationship between two very manly men.

I understand how people who haven't spent a lot of time around manly men might be confused. The naked grappling, kisses, and love-sodden glances may appear rather unbiblical to those who haven't experienced the kind of male bonding that occurs between cowboys, firemen, barbers and others who work in traditionally male occupations. But naked, Spartan-style wrestling is simply one of the ways men express comradeship with each other--it's like passing gas or punching a shoulder--any spelunking a Spartan-style wrestler's little soldier might do is purely accidental.

Men become very close when they spend time together camping out. This movie depicts that closeness better than anything other movie I've seen. It's like I told to my wife as we were exiting the theater, "You've always wanted to know what my hunting trips were like. Well, you just saw it."

Take your wife to see Brokeback Mountain. It'll explain a lot of things to her.

Not Very Realistic
Author: TheVeep from an undisclosed location

I really wanted to like Hostel, and I'll admit that parts of it excited me in a way that required me to shift the position of my popcorn, but the film lacked the realism I was told to expect. Men don't scream like that when they're subjected to pain approaching, but not equivalent to, organ failure. Their screams are much more piercing and non-human in nature. And when a patriot is using a power drill to penetrate human flesh, he's thinking about something very different in his mind, thoughts that are physically expressed in a very noticeable manner if you know what I mean.

My wife tells me that it's art and that it's aimed at a broad audience rather than simply at experts. I don't know about that. It seems to me that even the layman can sense when something isn't authentic.