Jesus' General

Anti-homosexual pamphlet criticized for containing "satire"

A God-fearing anti-homosexual organization has come under fire for publishing a pamphlet featuring a photo that the local Frenchmen claim is satire. The organization, Simply Truths Our Priority (STOP) distributed the pamphlet in an effort to raise awareness about their school district's plans to implement a "safe schools" policy. Such policies are anti-Christian in nature and have resulted in the suspension and expulsion of Christian students who have witnessed to their homosexual peers by employing steel toed boots of redemption.

The pamphlet features a photo (right) from an article published in a newspaper called The Onion. STOP's critics claim that the photo should not be used in the pamphlet because it is "satire." STOP spokesman Marilyn Ashworth disagrees, noting that The Onion is a homosexual newspaper:

"We knew it was a gay paper and we hold that even as a joke, the gay community is proud of their advancements into the safe schools program in the U.S.," she said. "We don't think homosexuality in schools is a joke."

Asked whether she believed it was a real photo, Ashworth said the caption included the teacher's name, city, state and grade.

"We researched in depth and that was one of the things we found," she said, noting the group spent seven weeks accumulating research.

"We don't come by our findings lightly."

The General sympathizes with STOP. The Enemies of Freedom have accused me of publishing satire many times. It's a tactic they use to trivialize my message.

Update

This isn't the first time that Enemies of Freedom have attacked stories lifted from the same homosexual newspaper, The Onion.

• In Sept. 2002, the Branch County (Michigan) Sherrif's Department was criticized for issuing an alert about an Al Qaeda recruitment telemarketing operation.

• An email sent to millions of good Christians cited the following quotes from an article about children who were inspired by Harry Potter to turn to Satan:

"The Harry Potter books are cool, 'cause they teach you all about magic and how you can use it to control people and get revenge on your enemies."

"I want to learn the Cruciatus Curse, to make my muggle science teacher suffer for giving me a D."

"Hermione is my favorite, because she's smart and has a kitty...Jesus died because He was weak and stupid."

"I used to believe in what they taught us at Sunday School. But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that the Bible is nothing but boring lies."