Schrocked, Schrocked

Congressman Ed Schrock (R-VA, District 2) is the kind of Good Christian man we need today. Not only did he score 100% on the Christian Coalition's 2002 scoreboard, the evil secular liberal Human Rights Campaign gives him a zero! I'm sure he wore their scorn as a badge of honor.

District 2 includes Virginia Beach, Norfolk, and Hampton. That means Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcast Network, Regent University, the American Center for Law and Justice, plus several down-home military installations. Inotherwords, this is Our Leader's base, and Ed Schrock is a stand-up guy who has delivered them since his co-installation in the Year of Our Lord 2000.

So while the vassals arrive in Blue York City for the Coronation, it will come as a schrock to find that Ed won't be among them. Today he resigned from the upcoming election. Talk about a take-charge guy! Won't find him cowering in a foxhole or hiding in a closet! And what excellent timing! With all eyes on the Big Sinful Apple Given By Eve Leading to the Fall of Man, who is going to notice why Mr. Ed gave notice?

Maybe this phone call might explain things? From the transcript below, it's clear that he must be doing some undercover work on behalf of the War on Terra.

Uh, hi, I weigh 200 pounds am 6 foot 4...hazel eyes...very muscular, very buffed up, very canned (alert reader TonyB claims this is "tanned" but clearly has never dealt with six-packs)...just like to get together with a guy from time to time, just to play, and I'd like him to be very good shape, flat stomach, good chest, good arms, well-hung, cut, get naked, play, see what happens, nothing heavy-duty, just a fun time...go down on him, he could go down on me, just take it from there, hope to hear from you, bye.

Please write to Congressman Schrock and urge him to reconsider. We need someone with this kind of initiative working for God's Team. What's worse, his opponent is another Pretend Army Guy claiming military service, working hand-in-glove with that terrorist Max Cleland.

Via Atrios, more at Daily Kos. Update: And more.

Update #3: Original post said Schrock resigned, effective immediately. In fact his resignation from Congress will be effective in January. Jezebel's Genius regrets the error.