These people vote

I found myself listening to that foreign radio station , NPR, today and was very surprised to hear a story about people who look to Jesus for political advice. These good Christian folk told their stories to a reporter for All Things Considered who visited their prayer group at Cornerstone Family Church in Des Moines, Iowa. I found their words very inspiring.

One of the worshipers, Susan Fox, spoke of her fear that God might let Kerry win. She knows it will lead to the persecution of Christians, but she also has faith that when the persecution starts, God will open a big can of whoopass on the unbelievers.

If Kerry won I know it wouldn't be because the things he has planned and his beliefs are backed up by the word of God. It would mean that for some reason, you know, for some reason that I can't understand, that I just have to trust God for. He wants this man in that place for this time.

And the Word also talks about, you know, how God can bring good things out of negative things. The partial-birth abortion kids, it'd sure be bad for them. And abortion would become even more entrenched. Then, I would imagine that we would have gay marriage. And there would be more of a kind of soft Christian persecution, "Gee we hate Bush because he's always mentioning God and quoting the Bible and he prays and uhhg, he should keep that to himself." But usually, whenever there's more pressure on Christians, more outright persecution, on my, the Church rises up and roars.

Another worshipper, Angela Williams, tells us that it's important to vote for a good Christian, unless that Christian is a homosexual. In that case, you should vote for a Jew who's secretly Christian rather than the "American." I have to admit that I found her advice a bit confusing, because I didn't know Joe Lieberman was running against David Dreier.

If you know Jesus and you're a politician then I'm going to support you. And if you're a strong, observant Jew, and I know that you know the Torah, and you're, you know, you worship it and your observant [unintelligible] then I'll probably vote for you over a wishy-washy American who claims to be a Christian, but I know that they're fornicating or I know that they, you know, believe that you can be a minister and then profess to be gay--that's just craziness. I'll never vote for you. You don't know the Word. Even though you might have a cloth on, I know, you known the Jew might be a messianic Jew--he might be undercover, because there are a lot of those.

Mrs. Fox returns a little later in the story and prays that Ted Kennedy will love God's face.

We pray for Ted Kennedy, Father God. When I see him, hatred doesn't come from you; only love comes, and I pray that he might see you. That he might not hate any man, but that he might love you and seek your face, father.

She then goes on to tell us how she's commanding angels to fix the election.

I believe that you can see, actually see, the spiritual battle, because the enemy, which is the devil, does not want good to win. And so you can actually see it. But see, you see the red. You see the blue. But that can't affect you, because who knows that somebody might wake up in the night and have an experience with God and change their vote. When I pray, I actually, I actually pray that angels are around the voting booth. That somehow, that somehow God's love or God's peace [or "piece;" she might be saying that our Lord is packing heat--JC] or something or they didn't even or they come out saying, "Gosh, I didn't know why I voted that way.

Immediately after this story, Northwest Public Radio broke into the NPR broadcast with their own tale of Christian politics. They interviewed Pastor Ron Armstrong, who leads a congregation in Eastern Washington--that's the part of the state that won't burn in Hell for all eternity.

Pastor Armstrong says that we shouldn't worry about things like the economy, insurance rates, or other issues (which I took to mean the Eternal War against Brown People) because God will take care of those things if we stop the homos from getting married.

The moral issues are really going to determine whether God blesses this nation, and if God blesses this nation, we don't have to worry about the economy, we don?t have to worry about what our insurance rates are going to be, we don't have to worry about all these other important issues--the bottom line are these moral issues.

So there you have it. If Kerry wins, he'll persecute us, but God will kick his ass. If Bush wins, God will take care of everything because we voted for a moral man. And if you have a race between a Jew and an American who is a homosexual, pick the Jew because he might secretly be Christian.