Give me that red style education

Soon, Our Leader's No Child Left Behind initiative will fulfill its main objective and demonstrate that public schooling is a disaster and should be replaced by a system of private, or more accurately, "Christian," schools. Thank the Lord that Christian textbook companies are prepared for that day. Below, you'll find what one such company, A Beka Book, has to offer.

You won't find the term "robber baron" in one of Beka's Christian-oriented history texts. Instead, you'll read about the contribution capitalist entrepreneurs made in building our great nation. Those parts of history which glorify God, gold, and country are emphasized while history that is not faith-promoting is thankfully ignored.

We present government as ordained by God for the maintenance of law and order, not as a cure-all for the problems of humanity. We present free-enterprise economics without apology and point out the dangers of Communism, socialism, and liberalism to the well-being of people across the globe. In short, A Beka Book offers you a Christian and conservative approach to the study of what man has done with the time God has given.

Science is Satan's playground. He subverts our respect for God by dazzling us with fancy Darwinist theories and geological history. Once we accept the notion that man descended from monkeys, we are bound to eventually ape the immorality of bonobos. Beka texts reject Satan's science by embracing the science of the Bible:

While secular science textbooks present modern science as the opposite of faith, the A Beka Book science texts teach that modern science is the product of Western man's return to the Scriptures after the Protestant Reformation, leading to his desire to understand and subdue the earth, which he saw as the orderly, law-abiding creation of the God of the Bible.

The A Beka Book Science and Health Program presents the universe as the direct creation of God and refutes the man-made idea of evolution. Further, the books present God as the Great Designer and Lawgiver, without Whom the evident design and laws of nature would be inexplicable. They give a solid foundation in all areas of science -- a foundation firmly anchored to Scriptural truth.

Secular English textbooks promote relativism. Beka's English series promotes orderly thought by ensuring that no student strays from God's immutable will:

God gave us our powers of thought and language and chose to reveal His will and His ways to us in a written form, the Bible; thus we need to pay particular attention to the teaching of grammar, spelling, vocabulary, composition, and literature as we seek to educate students from a Christian perspective.

Since Darwin, linguists have sought in vain for a credible explanation for the origin of language. Having accepted evolutionary philosophy, they can only think that language must be simply a response to a stimulus, an emotional outcry, an imitation of animals.

If such foolishness were true, then any talk of language being governed by rules or any claims that some expressions are better than others would be inappropriate, and relativism would rule. This explains many English programs today. But as Christians, we still believe that the Bible provides the only credible explanation for the universe, of man, and of language. Therefore, it is easy to see in language a structure which reflects the logic, reasonableness, and orderliness of the One who created man and his language.

Beka's mathematics texts dispense with modern heresies like "set theory" and concentrate on "God's absolute mathematical laws":

Unlike the "modern math" theorists, who believe that mathematics is a creation of man and thus arbitrary and relative, we believe that the laws of mathematics are a creation of God and thus absolute. All of the laws of mathematics are God's laws. Our knowledge of God's absolute mathematical laws may be incomplete or at times in error, but that merely shows human frailty, not relativity in mathematics. Man's task is to search out and make use of the laws of the universe, both scientific and mathematical.

A Beka Book provides attractive, legible, workable traditional mathematics texts that are not burdened with modern theories such as set theory... Besides training students in the basic skills that they will need all their lives, the A Beka Book traditional mathematics books teach students to believe in the absolutes of the universe, to work diligently to get right answers, and to see the facts of mathematics as part of the truth and order that God has built into the real universe.

Sharon K. Robbert of Trinity Christian College authored a number of mathematical devotions to complement the Christian student's math studies. Here is one of my favorites, Christ = Adam^-1:

An inverse mapping of any function reverses the direction of the assignment of the function. In the case that the original function is one-to-one, the inverse mapping will also be a function with the domain and codomain interchanged.

Through the sin of Adam, all people are condemned for eternity. We cannot escape our inherited imperfection. Let's define the "Adam life function" to act on people. This function has output death for all inputs. However, Christ inverts the total condemnation of people through his death and resurrection. This acts as a sort of inverse to the "Adam life function;" the "Christ death function" acts on all people and brings life to those who believe. This is not truly an inverse function--it is more of a negation--the negation of Adam (man) is Christ and the negation of life is death. It is ironic that to give eternal life to people whose lives are undeserved, Christ had to die.

Finally, the Lewis and Clark Pioneer published a few examples of questions from a Christian calculus test. Although it was published on April 1st, the General doesn't think that it's a joke. The questions are good and they don't seem to be any less valid than any of the other things I've quoted above.

(1) Which of the following is the most important principle of continuous functions:
(a) any constant function is continuous
(b) if f(x) is continuous, so is 1/f(x)
(c) for any positive integer n, xn and the n root of x are continuous
(d) they must continue in their faith in Christ established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel (Col 1:23)

2) Q: What is the limit of f(x) as x approaches infinity?
Answer: f(x) has no limit, "for God gives the spirit without limit." (John 3:34)

3) John 19:33-34 says "But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus' side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water."

Say Jesus had been crucified on a slope defined by f(x) = -1/8(x-6)2 + 5. If Jesus' crucifix was buried in the ground at the point on the function where x = 8, and the Roman Legion who pierced Jesus' side is standing at the point x = 4 (Fig. 1), find the area below the function (but not below the x-axis) and between Christ and the soldier.

Note: Somebody sent me an email or posted a comment about Christian calculus exams or texts a while back. I can't find it now, so I apologize for not crediting you if it's part of the info I posted.