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Monday, November 15, 2004

Meet your war-bloggers

I don't think the brave men and women of the 101st Fighting Keyboard Battalion get enough credit for the hard work they do defending freedom in the Eternal War to Resubjugate Brown People, so I thought it'd be a good idea to profile a few of them every now and then. Today, we'll meet Sean and Chad of pass the ammo.

Sean is the thinker of the team, a student at the University of San Diego who someday wants to get a PhD "in some form of molecular biology." Although he proudly calls himself a conservative Christian, he's quick to point out that he doesn't make kneejerk decisions when it comes to politics. Instead, he tries to see every side of an issue:

One thing that I really pride myself in, is the fact that I like to look at both sides of an argument before I formulate my opinion on a subject. For example, I will watch both Fox News and MSNBC.

I think that's a good rule to follow. I mean how can you really understand an issue until you've heard what both Hannity and Scarborough have to say about it.

Chad, a conservative Christian who calls Hayden Lake, Idaho, home, is the pass the ammo team's man of action. He lives for it as the following passage from the blog demonstrates:

Workin in the shop with Jared today, I happened to get wacked over the head with a 2x4. Jared was pullin nails out of one, while the other was resting up against the bench (not smart craftsmanship). I was leaning against the bench facing away from Jared, when this 8 footer began falling towards me, only to crack me across the back of the head.

So I've had a nice headache all day. But you know what? I like it.

Yes. Thats right. You heard correctly. Contrary to popular belief, I strive on violence. It happens to be the only language I understand.

Chad's also a quite the photographer. A whole section of the blog is devoted to his work. Most of the pictures show him holding a firearm and something he killed. He grips the long, hardened steel barrels of his weapons tightly in his hands as a lusty twinkle of excitement dances a lambada in his eyes and a wickedly inviting smile slithers between his long, Elvis-like side-burns. It's clear that in that moment of pure ecstasy, he's in his own world, forgetting even his own name, Chad, which he despises for probably the same reasons he bought all that firepower.

We learn a lot about Chad at pass the ammo. He posts a litany of his short, simple thoughts on the "about" page. I'll leave you with some of the General's favorites:

"If killing commie's was legal, boy would I be tempted."

"My hero's have always been cowboys and pirates."

"Most of my relatives were born in Texas. I wish I was too."

"I was bucked off a mule when I was 11."

"Without my trusty pocket knife, I feel naked."

"I have had 5 dreams, where I killed a criminal."

"When I was born, a vessel burst in my head. I was a conehead for a time."

"Since age 3, I have always owned camo's."

"I could survive on beef jerky alone."

"I have only been to 7 States of the Union."

"Shotshell solves many of my problems."

"I will be a wolverine if Red Dawn should ever happen."

"Once I drove for 16 hours straight."

"Bill Oreilly is the only one in the news that makes sense, nowadays."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.