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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The South is Red!



Tommy Craft
Cedar Shoals High School
Athens, Georgia

Dear Principal Craft,

You erred when you apologized for saying a prayer over the intercom. It was nothing to be ashamed of. You were merely fulfilling the wishes of the people as expressed through the mandate bestowed on Our Leader after his sweeping two point election victory.

Do not worry. The disingenuousness of your apology will save you from being seized by the Red Guard to be paraded down Main street and criticized in the town square. Surely, only the most ignorant among us will believe your claim that the prayer's condemnation of unwed mothers, atheists, and "freaks" with piercings wouldn't "bring ridicule on any particular person," and no one could possibly conclude that such a rabidly Christian prayer was anything other than the promotion of religion.

Some would call your apology a collection of obvious lies. I prefer to think of it as a passive-aggressive defense of Our Glorious Christian Cultural Revolution, and therefore, something that transcends the traditional concept of reality. After all, "revolution is not a dinner party, not an essay, nor a painting, nor a piece of embroidery." The old definitions of truth are no longer relevant in Our Leader's new Christian order.

I say do the prayer again and let's see how many flowers bloom.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.