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Sunday, December 19, 2004

Red Guard thwarts Godless, tolerance-promoting county officials

The Bartow First Baptist Church Sunday School Red Guard of the Glorious Christian Cultural Revolution bravely defied Polk County, Florida officials by secretly erecting a nativity scene at the county courthouse. This bold act occurred only hours after the county commission, in and act of utter cowardice, voted against placing a creche on county property.

The commission was concerned that such an endorsement of religion would be a violation of the First Amendment to the Constitution, a disgraceful provision which among other things bars such endorsements and allows people to speak out against Our Leader. Over the last few months, Commissioner Randy Wilkinson has attempted to avoid a First Amendment problem by proposing that the county celebrate the holidays by displaying symbols of other faiths along with a nativity scene. Thank God the other commissioners had more sense.

Commissioner Don Gifford objected to including Muslim symbols because, as a patriotic American, he hates Islam with a fury so powerful it wilts flowers as he passes by. When the idea was first proposed in October, Gifford declared:

I don't think I should have to tolerate on my government-funded and financed buildings symbols of people who hate, when I read their doctrine and it says to kill the infidel and they're talking about Christians. I don't think I should have to put those up, nor do I think my children or families should have to do that. I accept Christianity, and I am tolerant of others, but I don't have to promote with government dollars and government buildings other religions. I've got to tell you after 9-11, I'm not tolerant of a lot of things...When people blow up our buildings, I ain't putting those symbols up on there.

Commission Chairman Jack Myers backed Gifford's remarks, noting that if the county allowed one display, it would have to allow "everything from witchcraft to snake-worshippers."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.