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Saturday, March 19, 2005

AC to wrestle Gary Glenn

One of our most beloved commenters, Anntichrist Coulter, has been exchanging email with Gary Glenn of the Michigan Family Association. AC was prompted to write Mr. Glen after she read my letter to him and his response to me. I'm rather perplexed by AC's frenchness in the first few letters--she's usually so patriotic. She makes up for it, however, by offering to settle their disagreement by wrestling.

Her emails are printed below. Mr' Glenn's responses are italicized.

Date: 2005/03/16 Wed AM 03:20:09 GMT
Subject: bigots

Nice. You persecute an eighth-grader for being different. I bet you were all bullies when you were in Junior High, too, weren't you. You're nothing more than pointy-headed BIGOTS, using YOUR PERSONAL CULT MEMBERSHIP to infringe on the rights of others.

Get a life, and leave everybody else ALONE.

If you people were a little more secure in your own cults, you probably wouldn't feel the need to attack everybody else about THEIRS.

And, as an aside, you never see ATHEISTS burning down buildings, using themselves as suicide bombers, or shooting doctors in their own homes, do you?

You might want to consider why that is, if, indeed, any of you are capable of any introspection deeper than "Dumbya said it, I believe it, that settles it!"

Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:27 PM
Subject: Re: bigots

Joanna, we're definitely moved by your intellectual prowess.

In fact, the 8th grader, while misguided, was not at fault, but the school staff who supposedly oversee publication of the paper obviously were.

Thanks for writing.

Date: 2005/03/16 Wed AM 03:33:17 GMT
Subject: Re: bigots

Oh, aren't you quaint.

When you single the girl out for daring to speak in her school newspaper about her experimentation with Wicca, and you make a very public point of screaming as fanatics are wont to do about how "wrong" that is --- you might MOUTH reprimands to the "school staff" --- but you're ostracizing the child.

And as far as "misguided" goes --- any "family" organization that is more worried about Wicca than, say, people in America starving, going homeless, going without health care, et cetera --- nice priorities, folks. Reallllllll mature.

Must be a nice cul-de-sac where you live.

(cul-de-sac: French for DEAD END.)

Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:42 PM
Subject: Re: Re: bigots

Quaint, mature, and correct.

I'm certain you won't be terribly distressed if I say we'll continue to pursue our priorities with or without your approval. Certainly encourage you to feel free to do the same.

Actually, when on TV discussing this issue, there were no screams. Said it was wrong, which it obviously was, in a very normal tone of voice.

You having fun yet? I assume that's why you're writing, since you surely suffer no delusions that your ever-so-tolerant "pointy-headed bigot" routine is likely to have any actual effect on our views...right?

Date: 2005/03/16 Wed AM 03:49:15 GMT
Subject: Re: Re: bigots

I don't try to convert the lost, pumpkin.

It's just fun, once in a while to remind them of how lost they really are... And any sect as separated from reality as yours is, well... y'all are just begging for parody.

It's just such a shame, that people who pride themselves on being so "good" and "pious" and "right" --- really don't give a good goddamn about anybody else on the planet. Condemn, condemn, condemn, but never a sweat do you break to actually, realistically HELP anyone.

So yes, I'm sure that you suburbanite scumbags will continue right along with your pontificating and posturing... but never for one moment should you believe that anyone besides you and your sheeple actually BUYS THAT ACT.

We all know what you are really about, that's the reason we occasionally grant attention to sideshows such as your own. To remind the logical humans that the brainwashing, bigoted, Stepfordized herd is still out there, and they still feel entitled to run the world. No matter how far from reality that opinion may be --- and it's pretty damned far.

Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 10:15 PM
Subject: Re: Re: bigots

You've obviously mistaken us for someone who cares who or how many agree or disagree.

Have had nothing but encouragement on the issue from folks up here, aside from e-mails such as yours from readers of WitchVox or wherever you suddenly discovered the issue.

But don't let us stop you from whatever fun you're having.
We'll take it in the tolerant, loving spirit in which it's sent.

After careful consideration of our earlier discourse, it appears to me that we probably will never meet any sort of consensus through purely literary conversation.

And thus, after careful and deep discussion with Jesus' General, an idea came to me, that I thought would be the most effective form of a "meeting of the minds," as it were.

As soon as we can secure the proper venue and promotional opportunities, the Women's Corps of the Jesus' General Militia will be holding our very own Women's Corps Convention, wherein we plan to offer many educational seminars and shop-class-style demonstrations. During the course of the evening entertainment, several of the ladies of the WC have volunteered to entertain the troops, as it were, in a Death-Match Winner-Take-All Wrestling Meet. We will be inviting such celebrities as Ann Coulter, Peggy Noonan, Karen Hughes, Michelle Malkin, Laura Bush, and others of their ilk to participate in our Tag-Team events.

And, as I have, myself volunteered for the wrestling portion of the festivities, I thought that it would make a lovely statement, a bridging of the gap, as it were, to offer you the opportunity to wrestle me in our very own Death Match. A kind of co-ed meet, so that the men who may be attending might also enjoy the girls' only entertainment schedule.

While we have not, as yet, cemented a firm calendar for these events, I thought it best to give you the heads-up as soon as possible, so that you might keep a spot on your calendar open for us. All proceeds from the Convention (above the overhead, obviously) will be going to charity, so it's kind of one of those kill-two-birds-with-one-stone deals.

Please let us know as soon as possible if you are available to participate, as we would like to start having you measured for the costume fittings as soon as we can. Also, please let us know if you have any allergies to spandex, latex, processed leather, feathers, formaldehyde, or any food-based allergies, such as to Jell-O, pudding, whipped cream, or grits.

Again, I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed our little tete-a-tete, and hope that we can "hammer out" more of our disagreements in the ring.



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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.