What a load

My friend, Jamato of Crooks and Liars, wrote this letter to Christian Answers:

Dear Christian Answers,

When it comes to science, I don't go to those angry, unbelievers in the scientific community for answers. Instead, I get my information from the Church or the more faith-promoting secular songs. For instance, I've always felt that the Beatles "Yellow Submarine" was a veiled ode to Noah and the great service he performed to save all our impure souls.

I have only one question that has nagged me to this day. Noah had eight family members to take care of over 2000 different animals on the arc. How did they ever manage the feculence that accrued during the voyage. Did they use litter boxes? Did they have pooper-scoopers? The weight alone probably could have been enough to sink the arc if it wasn't properly eliminated.

If we calculate the amount of muck and nastiness by the sum total of all the animal's body weight, plus factoring in that it would take approximately twenty-three hours a day for the entire family just to perform this most vital task, what other undertakings could they possibly do? Not to mention that the aroma of said bodily functions would probably have driven them half-mad anyway.

Thank you so much for taking my question.

Yours truly,

Colonel Crooks and Liars.