But he's a Republican, dammit!

Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee
Biggus Dickus, Blue Crab Boulevard

Dear Mr Owens, and Mr. Dickus*,

Thanks for getting back to me, but I'm afraid that you misunderstood my email. For some reason, you seem to believe that I was criticizing you for attacking Rep. John Murtha for his comments about al Haditha while ignoring similar comments made by Rep. John Kline.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Rep. Kline is a Republican. There's nothing to be gained politically by attacking him. In fact, it would be counter-productive, because it would weaken our message that John Murtha and his ilk are America-hating dupes of the Islamunist menace.

Although I can't help but be a little upset over this misunderstanding--I worry that someone might be left with the impression that I lack the capacity for fear needed to fully support the Iraq Phase of Our Eternal War to Resubjugate the Brown People--I do believe that something good came about because of it. It forced you to write better talking points to justify your disparate treatment of the two Congressmen (although "because Kline's a Republican" is good enough for us, it might not play as well with a less partisan audience).

You did well, Mr. Yankee. How could anyone argue with this:

I called for Murtha's censure because he attempted to short circuit the military criminal justice system, prejudging these Marines guilty without the benefit of due process, and potentially compromising the integrity of the criminal proceedings. I made no complaint against Kline, because Kline never even approached improperly interfering in this case.

Of course there will be those who would claim that this statement by Kline also prejudges the Marines:

This was not an accident. This was not an immediate response to an attack. This would be an atrocity.

But those who would say such a thing are likely traitors or worse yet, Islamintern agents bent on destroying our will to bleed the Iraqi people into submission.

And besides, Rep. Kline is a Republican.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

*I really don't have anything to say to Mr. Dickus. I just like writing his name. I find it very exciting for some strange reason. It touches me in a very special place and awakens things I thought had died long ago.

In a related development, Jay Tea of Wizbang betrays himself as a Gallic infiltrator by attacking me in French. Anyway I think he attacked me. Since I don't speak French, I can't be sure. I suppose that the phrase he used, "folie a douchebag" could be a shout out to John Hinderaker.

This isn't the first time he's used that phrase. He wrote the same thing in an email responding to August J. Pollak's 2006 George W. Bush Dead Kitten Survey.

God damned Frenchmen.>