Mel Gibson: Rabbi Lapin's kind of anti-Semite

Rabbi Daniel Lapin
Toward Tradition

Dear Rabbi Lapin,

It must be hard being the official rabbi of the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution. I imagine all the flashes you've been exposed to while having your photo taken with every conservative in need of a little tolerance cred has taken a heck of a toll on your eyesight. It's a wonder that you and Alan Keyes can see at all. But I suppose there's good money in it--not as much as when Jack Abramoff was laundering bribes through your organization--but still decent money. It's probably worth the thousand of times your GC³R colleagues have told that you're going to hell because you're Jewish.

And of course it's been even harder for you lately. First, there was the Abramoff scandal and now this thing with Mel Gibson. It must have been very humiliating for you to pretend that Gibson's Passion of the Christ wasn't anti-Semitic. I mean, my God, there haven't been villains as evil as the Passion's Jews in a film since D W Griffith's brown people in Birth of a Nation. But you swallowed your pride and did your duty as the GC³R's official rabbi. You deserve to be commended for that.

And you should be partially commended for how you responded to Mel's recent anti-Semitic outburst as well. You handled it very deftly at first, writing:

"A balanced and reasonable view would be that if indeed he really does hate Jews, then he deserves respect for his self control when not drunk."

That's a rather masterful example of rhetorical ju-jitsu. By concentrating on Mel's ability to resist using words like "jewboy" when sober, you shifted the public conversation away from Gibson's bigotry, turning him into the kind of man we should all try to emulate.

But unfortunately you didn't stop there. Instead, you go on to write:

I would rather be surrounded by people who hate me in their heart but whose conduct toward me and my property is exemplary than by people who love me in their hearts but who kill my cat, kick my kids, and key my car.

This just doesn't make sense to me. I think both statements could easily apply to our colleagues in the GC³R. You don't think Sen. Santorum really likes you do you? He might act chummy when you pose for pictures, but you have to know he's thinking about how great it would be to reinstate the Holy Inquisition. And although Jerry Falwell might express the love for you he has in his heart, I bet he'd key your car if he thought you might be that Jewish antichrist he's been talking about. So are you going to embrace part of the GC³R while rejecting the other? And how will you know the difference, anyway?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot