Savior Spotting

Although hanging out in prisons can be a lot of fun at first, it gets boring very quickly. The prisoners have no choice other to accept that, but our Lord, Jesus, being God's only begotten son, has other options. That's why you're just as likely these days to spot him on a grilled cheese sandwich as you are in the D-Block storeroom trading barbs with the Aryan Brotherhood wrestling team--check that, you're more likely to see him on a grilled cheese sandwich. Lately, Our Lord and Savior has been popping up everywhere.

That's why I'm starting a new feature here at Jesus' General called Finding Jesus. My plan is to keep tabs on the Christ so we'll know the moment he heads off to Jerusalem for the glorious slaughterfest that'll signal the beginning of the End Times. Then, I alert you, my readers, so you can sell your stocks short and make a killing. It's what our Republican redeemer would do.

Of course, I can't do this on my own. I'll need your help. So if you see Jesus, or run across a report of a sighting, let me know, and I'll post it here.

The latest sighting I have to report occurred a few months ago when Jesus appeared on an MRI (see the photo at the top of this post). We have to get a lot better at spotting him if we want this plan to work. If you have anything more recent, I want to hear about it.

Update: Liz and Lindsey confirm that the Lord has a thing for medical imaging devices (ultrasound this time) and thingwarbler points us to a miraculous tomato. That's "tomato" pronounced with a good, American "long a" and, contrary to what the owner says, this tomato is a strong, sinewy, manly vegetable. The Savior does not appear on fruit.

Update II: And here's commenter John's ultrasound.

Update III: Our first false sighting. That ain't Jesus on that shrimp tail. It's Che. Goddamn commie crustaceans.