Rep. John Shimkus
US House of Representatives (R-IL)
Dear Rep. Shimkus,
Take a deep breath and relax. I know things look bad for you now, but it's going to be okay. You just have to remember that even though you procured pages for Mark Foley after you were warned of his predatory nature, Speaker Hastert was okay with it.
Indeed, the Speaker, after discussing Foley's page problem with you, Rep. Reynolds, Majority Leader Boehner and former House Clerk Jeff Trandahl, declared "Mission Accomplished" on the PR front. That's why the Speaker and the Majority Leader didn't lift a finger to stop you from holding a slave auction where eager young pages could bid for dream date with Foley. The House Republican Caucus had already "turned the corner" in its battle to suppress negative news about one of its members.
You have nothing to worry about. You were only doing your job as Chair of the Page Board, ensuring that the pages serviced every Republican member's needs. You did it well. Your friends in the caucus will remember that.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Elsewhere: Carl writes a letter to House Ethics Chair Doc Hastings.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.