Rep. Stacey X (nee Campfield)
Tennessee House of Representatives
Dear Rep. X,
I want to like your bill requiring that death certificates be issued for aborted embryo-Americans, but I don't see the logic behind it. Why limit it to the aborted? Don't miscarried embryo-Americans and blastocyst-Americans deserve death certificates too. And what about those little snowflake-Americans? Shouldn't the little frozen bastards get death certificates when someone drops their petri dishes?
And do I even have to mention our poor spermatazoan-American brothers? Literally billions of them die terrible deaths in dry tube sock deserts every time wrestling or 24 is on the TV. Shouldn't they all get death certificates as well?
It just doesn't make sense to limit your bill to simply aborted embryo-Americans. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you're just pulling a cheap political stunt, like you were accused of doing when you tried to join the Black Caucus.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot