Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Remembering Our Embryo-American Heroes

Rep. Stacey X (nee Campfield)
Tennessee House of Representatives

Dear Rep. X,

I want to like your bill requiring that death certificates be issued for aborted embryo-Americans, but I don't see the logic behind it. Why limit it to the aborted? Don't miscarried embryo-Americans and blastocyst-Americans deserve death certificates too. And what about those little snowflake-Americans? Shouldn't the little frozen bastards get death certificates when someone drops their petri dishes?

And do I even have to mention our poor spermatazoan-American brothers? Literally billions of them die terrible deaths in dry tube sock deserts every time wrestling or 24 is on the TV. Shouldn't they all get death certificates as well?

It just doesn't make sense to limit your bill to simply aborted embryo-Americans. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you're just pulling a cheap political stunt, like you were accused of doing when you tried to join the Black Caucus.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.