More Confederate Values From the Volunteer State

Rep. Stacy "Stacy X" Campfield sent an email alerting me to another example of a conservative Tennessee legislator standing tall for Confederate values. Here's what Rep. Mike Turner had to say.

We do have a problem with public schools. They were not performing adequately. The problem that we created was because of the political correctness we did in the sixties. We started busing and closing neighborhood schools. Now our Schools were inadequate and we needed to do something to address that inefficiency and inequality in schools. I just think we chose the wrong thing. And now we’re trying to dig out of that.

Now this guy is a demislamunistofascist, but, like Ben Nelson, he's the good kind of demislamunistofascist.

If an email is racist and only racists receive it, is it still racist?

Rep. Stacey Campfield
Tennessee House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Campfield,

It looks like all hell is breaking out at the statehouse. The equilitofascists are all in an uproar over this graphic a senate staffer named Sherri Goforth sent out in an email:


Lord knows she's apologized for sending the graphic to the wrong people, but decentpeoplocialists continue to demand that she be fired.

And she's not the only good #GOP staffer who's catching heat for sending stuff down the internets tubes today. South Carolina GOP operative Mike Green is under attack for this thing they call a tweet:

JUST HEARD OBAMA IS GOING TO IMPOSE A 40% TAX ON ASPIRIN BECAUSE IT'S WHITE AND IT WORKS.

And yet another SC Republican activist, Rusty DePass, is reaping the whirlwind for posting this Facebook comment in response to news that a gorilla had escaped from a zoo:

I'm sure it's just one of Michelle's [Obama] ancestors - probably harmless.

As the chair, vice chair, and member of the Tennessee House Republican Whites-Only Black Caucus, you're in a unique position to defend these folks. All you need to do is send out a press release castigating those who just can't laugh at a good Negro joke. They'll listen to you; you're Stacy X, the blackest white Confederate man since Don Black donned his Imperial Wizard hood.

Now, if that doesn't do the trick, you might consider taking the same approach Michelle "Our Lady of the Concentration Camps" Malkin and others employed to expose the Holocaust Museum shooter for the gun rights advocating, anti-government, minority-hating Obama-despising, anti-Bilderberger, birther liberal he is. You can do the same for Goforth, Green, and DePass. Sure, they all worked for the GOP, but that just shows you how devious these liberals are.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Remembering Our Embryo-American Heroes

Rep. Stacey X (nee Campfield)
Tennessee House of Representatives

Dear Rep. X,

I want to like your bill requiring that death certificates be issued for aborted embryo-Americans, but I don't see the logic behind it. Why limit it to the aborted? Don't miscarried embryo-Americans and blastocyst-Americans deserve death certificates too. And what about those little snowflake-Americans? Shouldn't the little frozen bastards get death certificates when someone drops their petri dishes?

And do I even have to mention our poor spermatazoan-American brothers? Literally billions of them die terrible deaths in dry tube sock deserts every time wrestling or 24 is on the TV. Shouldn't they all get death certificates as well?

It just doesn't make sense to limit your bill to simply aborted embryo-Americans. If I didn't know better, I'd think that you're just pulling a cheap political stunt, like you were accused of doing when you tried to join the Black Caucus.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Soul on Rye

Rep. Stacey Campfield
Tennessee House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Campfield,

You have a choice to make. Are you going let your opponents' combined $17,000 advantage get you down, or are you going to work hard and turn the $27 raised by your campaign thus far into $30? This is a character defining moment for you. The voters of your district are watching to see how you handle it.

If you choose to fight, you'll need to do something to change your image. Let's face it; most people think you're an asshole. They never bought into your attempt to remake yourself as "Stacey X, militant black man." It was just too far of a stretch for most people. You can't blame them. It's hard to picture Opie Taylor marching with Bobby Seal and Eldridge Cleaver.

Unfortunately, it's too late to fully remake yourself again. Admitting that you're as white as mayonnaise won't get you anywhere. A huge majority of the public might not believe that you're really black, but certainly, a portion of your base still buys it. You've got to hold onto them. It's the same strategy Our Leader is using to defend the war. Nearly everyone with an IQ over 85 now believes he lied about WsMD, but you'll never hear Our Leader admit to it--he needs to hold onto Chris Matthews.

So what do you do? I say, "get blacker." I'm referring to appearance rather than attitude; we'll get to that later. How do you do it? Well, the obvious method would be blackface, but I'm told that might be a mistake. Believe it or not, black people aren't fooled by it. We might find it hard to pick Eddy Cantor out in an Apollo Theater audience, but I understand that real black people would spot him right away.

I'd go with hypnotism. There's a conservative activist in Las Vegas who could probably help. He likes to hypnotize women into thinking he's Mickey Mouse. He says it turns them into sex machines. I say we get him to hypnotize your constituency into believing that you're black, and, more specifically, a non-threatening kind of black man. No more of this militant Stacey X stuff. I'm thinking more along the lines of Al Roker. People love him.

Good luck on turning your campaign around.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to MzNicky.

He's either with us or against us

It looks like Rep. Campfield is attacking Our Leader, Deputy Leader Dick, Rep. DeLay, Sen. Frist, and the 21 brave men and women in the Administration who so courageously betrayed the identity a CIA agent.

Oh, and his comments are back up.

6+1 degrees of separation

My inner Frenchman responds to Rep. Stacey X's latest incredibly well-reasoned post--a post so good, it earned Kevin Bacon another degree.

The General will write Rep. Campfield later this week.

Update: Femmes De Guérillero Du Tennessee updates us with the latest on Campfield including a nice article in the Post.

The company you keep

Rep. Stacey Campfield
Tennessee House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Campfield,

I decided to check out your blog after writing you yesterday and was very pleasantly surprised when I followed the new links you added. I wouldn't have thought that a black man like yourself would have appreciated Staghounds Sept. 13th post. But apparently you did, because you added Staghounds to your blogroll the very next day.

It was a very gutsy move on your part. I doubt there are many elected black legislators who'd enjoy something like this:

No black American would DARE

say this publicly, and no American medium would air it. Even though millions of Americans, white and black, are thinking it.

"Desperation? Yeah, right. I am beginning to believe that black people, no matter where in the world they are, are cursed with a genetic predisposition to steal, murder, and create mayhem."

Of course, I'm assuming that it was this post that convinced you to link to Staghounds. It was at the top of their page on the day you updated your blogroll.

It is possible, however, that Staghounds was already on your blogroll before then. I assume that's not the case because the links are not listed in alphabetical order and Staghounds is listed last, the position one would most likely put the newest link if you were adding them in no particular order.

Still, even if you added the link before the 14th, you had to know that Staghounds often promotes traditional Confederate values after reading earlier posts like this:

It's not looting...

It's just self assigned welfare benefits!

this:

The trash in New Orleans know that soon people with degrees and skills will drain the water, turn the power on, clean the streets, and replace the houses provided for them.

So why not tear things up? Why shouldn't the zoo animals run wild when the fence breaks?

this:

There never would have been affirmative action if...
I wonder what would have happened if back in 1960 or so, Lester Maddox and George Wallace had started policies along the lines of,

"The Supreme Court has ordered that our schools may no longer separate negro from white. Since we all know that negroes are inferior, we will now implement programs to insure that negroes are accepted to selective institutions.

and finally this:

Why do they need to read? They eat, watch television, drink, fight, and breed. Their needs are met by social workers, police officers, court appointed lawyers, subsidised housing, and taxpayer paid health care providers. If they have a problem they can't manage themselves, a degreed person in the employ of the state will sort it out, even to reading them the forms.

Even the most basic of educational skills is entirely superfluous. What a world we have built.

So I salute you, a black man who's willing to stand up for our traditional values.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Elsewhere: Screen caps from both sites.

He was born a poor black child

Rep. Stacey Campfield
Tennessee House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Campfield,

I was sorry to hear that your application to become a member of the Tennessee House Black Caucus was rejected. When will they realize that the sons of the Southern Strategy are the black man's friend?

Being a young black man, you may not have run into this kind of discrimination before. Sadly, I know it well, because I must confront the sad, sorry plight of the white Christian male every day. People like me are victimized by the guardians of political correctness every time we open our mouths.

No matter what I do, it seems like I can't get through a full day without being accused of being a racist. I've tried everything to avoid it--I've complimented black men for their race's basketball, dancing, and musical skills and I've expressed my sympathy to their women for having to endure their husbands unnaturally large thingies. Invariably, they return such overtures with charges of bigotry.

I've always wanted to reply that it can't be true, because some of my best friends are black, but that wouldn't be truthful. I don't have any black friends. In fact, I try to avoid them because of how they react to my compliments--nobody wants a beating.

I'm hoping that after your problems with the Black Caucus, you might have sympathy for my plight and become my friend. Then, I'll finally have something to say the next time I'm called a racist or a cracker.

I hope you'll consider it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Elsewhere:
Rep. Campfield's blog
Serving his constituents
Letters to a constituent