Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Mr. Savage gets dumped

Michael Savage
Savage Nation,

Dear Mr. Savage,

I'm sorry to hear that Hollywood superagency CAA dumped you as a client only two days after you signed with them. It's a shame they chose to side with another client, Melissa Etheridge, after you said the thought of her marriage to another woman made you want to vomit. But I guess that's Hollywood. It's nothing but a big crack house of tolerance where concepts like brotherhood and sisterhood are peddled like drugs to our unsuspecting children.

Of course, you could have probably avoided all of this if you had shown them your other side, the part of you that wrote mash notes to Allen Ginsburg. I'm sure they'd have been more forgiving if you told them of your desire to shove a camera up Ginsberg's butt to photograph his rectum or how you thought of the late poet as you played "finger games" with "a little-known black brother." But I guess it's too late for that now.

Perhaps you should look into signing with the Claire Boothe Luce Policy Institute or the Young Americans foundation. They keep Ann Coulter busy despite her homophobia and frequent calls to murder public officials.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Update: The old links to the mash notes are dead. I suspect Stanford U. objected to gifs of the letters being placed on the internets tubes. After a little searching, I found a link where the camera letter is discussed.

Michael Savage to Allen Ginsberg:

Watched a tourist from New Zealand taking pictures of Fijian people in the marketplace [and] thought of inserting my camera's lens in your A-hole to photograph the walls of your rectum. I really do apologize but the thought did occur.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.