The "It's Not Because He's Black" Excuse Wheel®

If you're like many of us, you become uncomfortable when anyone asks you why you’re voting against Obama. You can’t just tell the truth and say "it’s because he’s black." That's socially unacceptable. So you come up with an excuse like "I think he’s secretly Muslim" or "he compared Sarah Palin to a pig." But you can only get away with parroting McCain surrogate talking points for so long before people start laughing at you and asking you to become an Amway distributor.

You need to vary your response, so it looks like you're not desperately latching on to the first non-racist excuse that pops into your head. I've developed the "It's Not Because He's Black" Excuse Wheel^® to help you do just that. Now, whenever your mind is too clouded with crystal meth or too preoccupied wondering how Noah tricked the dinosaurs into getting on a Liberian-flagged ark to think up a decent excuse for voting against Obama, all you need to do is spin the excuse wheel's pointer.