The Wit and Wisdom of Rep. Doc Hastings

Rep. Doc Hastings

US House of Representatives (WA-04)

Dear Rep. Hastings,

Life is short, but words and ideas live on forever. We see proof of that every day when we pick up a book by Twain or hear a quote by Euripides or one like this, by a former resident of your district, William O. Douglas:

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there's a twilight where everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we must be aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Douglas lives on in that quote, even though we lost him many years ago. It is his legacy, and we we remember him, because his words were so prescient.
That's why I was so happy to learn that you've submitted a page of quotes to brainyquote.com. At least, I'm assuming you submitted them. I mean who else would? You're not exactly known for your wit or intelligence--I'm told your own staffers call you Congressman Moron.

There's nothing wrong with that. You have other strengths that have served you well--blind, slavish loyalty for instance. We all witnessed you applying that attribute during the Abramoff scandal. As Chair of the House Ethics Committee, you successfully prevented the committee from issuing even the meekest rebuke against Tom Delay and the others (including yourself) who were involved.

Anyway, I was thrilled to see that your quotes were submitted to brainyquote.com. Like the Douglas's thoughts, I'm sure your words will live on for decades, and probably centuries, providing you with the legacy you deserve. After all, what future historian, orator, or author could resist repeating such an insightful and moving phrase as this:

V-J Day, or Victory in Japan Day, marks the date of the Japanese surrender that ended fighting in the Pacific.

Now, that is a quote for the ages. It sums up the whole of the human condition--especially the ennui that ensues from endlessly confronting the obvious--in one short declarative sentence. No wonder you are so proud of it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot