The Sanctity of the Microphone

Glenn Beck
Frosty Abuser

Dear Mr. Beck,

I'm sorry to hear about the trouble you had at a truck stop Wendy's. I don't know what's come over this country if a pudgy little white man can't hang around a truck stop without getting verbally abused by a trucker. I mean, my God, can't a sweater-wearing patriot buy a Frosty without a big, hairy, double-clutching diesel jockey getting in his face, calling him a "racist bigot," and accusing him of ruining the country? Doesn't anyone respect the sanctity of the microphone anymore?

There once was a time when you could get on the radio and rant about nuking Venezuela or ask a black Congressman if he was a terrorist and still be treated respectfully on the street. Hell, CNN would even give you a gig and pretend that you weren't a lying, vicious demagogue. But now, even truckers, who once formed your listener base, are giving you hell and scaring you out of your temple garments. Thank God your security detail was there.

I hope you finally got your frosty,

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot