Stoning Blitzen

Update: Brother Stucky deleted his blog, but his post "Satan Claus And His Queer Reindeer" is still available here.

Pastor Steven L. Anderson
Faithful Word Baptist Church

Dear Pastor Anderson,

I've been a huge fan of you work for quite awhile. Your sermon on the sin of peeing while sitting and the essay in which you accuse male gynecologists of being perverts are two of the finest examples of biblical scholarship I've ever seen.

But perhaps your greatest accomplishment is the way you've shepherded your flock. One congregant, Brother Matthew Stucky, serves as a living example of the good work you're doing. The sermon he gave in your stead while you were in Norway, "Purge Out the Liberals" was about as good a sermon as a god-fearing man could hear anywhere. I particularly liked the part where he called Gomer Pyle a "faggot."

I'm also very impressed with Brother Stucky's blog. I don't think anyone has made a better case for Santa's reindeer being The Gay than he does, here:

Santa's queer reindeer:
Take a look at the names of the 8 reindeer.
Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dancer, Dasher, Donder, Prancer and Vixen.

The person who originally came up with these names probably did not have this intent. They probably originally had some of the reindeer as male & some as female. However, the animated movie that was made in 1964 had a different idea. In the movie all 8 of these reindeer were male reindeer. Take a look at those names again. Male reindeer named Dancer, Prancer, Vixen & Cupid?!?!?!

[...]

I think from these names we know Vixen, Dancer, Prancer & Cupid are queer reindeer.

Let's go back to the story from the animated movie with Rudolph. Rudolph gets shy around girls & his nose turns red. As a result, the other reindeer won't let him play any reindeer games. That sounds sick, perverted & homosexual. Basically Rudolph like girls because he is straight & as a result they don't let him participate in their homosexual games.

[...]

According to the Bible homosexuality should be punishable by death. I would be overjoyed if every single queer in the entire world died today. The Bible makes it clear they are reprobates who are past the point of salvation. The Bible also makes it clear they are rapists & very wicked people. They have no chance to get saved and no saved person could ever become a queer. Therefore, I would be overjoyed if they all died tonight & our government would actually follow what the Bible states. The death penalty should be enacted for the queers.

Now that's what I call a powerful Christian sermon.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Update: I've been excommunicated:

You have been banned from Faithful Word Baptist Church Listeners
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