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Monday, February 09, 2009

The Great Atheist Purge Continues

Dr. John Lynch
Brookeland Independent School District
Brookeland, TX

Dear Dr. Lynch,

First, let me congratulate your purging of Richard Mullens for being "too liberal" and, possibly, an atheist. It's beyond me how such a man could be allowed to hold a teaching position in your district for nearly forty years. Even the Iranians are better at upholding local values than that. But then, I guess that's all in the past now that you've finally sent the godless compassion-monger packing.

Have you considered the possibility that Mullins might not have acted alone. Could there be more atheists--or even worse, witches, sorcerers, or ACLU members--teaching Brookeland's children?

Take a close look at your high school principal, Richard Turner, for example. Sure, he unquestioningly followed the purging command given by you, the school board, and the Holy Inquisition of The Brookeland Missionary Baptist Church, but did he do so only because he was trying to hide his own wickedness?

Like I said, take a close looks at Mr. Turner. He has been marked by the beast. The man has snake eyes--evil, lifeless non-human, blood-engorged slits perfectly suited for identifying righteous souls to devour. Perhaps that's how Mr. Mullens turned all liberal. Turner turned his serpent's gaze upon him, devoured his soul--no doubt by driving his long, thin, forked demon tongue straight up his nostril to get ever last remaining soul-bit--and, then, recruited him into atheism.

You need to prick him and see if you can find the devil's mark.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, Homewood

1 comment:

  1. I tried dumping Haloscan and was finally successful after eating lots of fiber.

    I am truly inspired by the people of Brookeland. Truly God's people, whose motto could read Where the pointless accusation is enough to smear the cowardly innocent. If the teacher isn't an atheist, how come God hasn't appeared in his classroom? Only a non-believer would not believe in that which has never appeared!



We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.