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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Packing heat for Jesus

Grant Exton
Executive Director
Arkansas Concealed Carry Assn.

Dear Mr. Exton,

By gawd, you're onto something with that guns in churches bill. There's absolutely no reason why anyone with a concealed carry permit shouldn't be able to pack a piece in a place of worship. You just don't know when some mob, all hepped up on the gay, is going to invade your chapel and violate our Jesus, but, by gawd, let them try it when everyone's sporting a heater.

And it's more than just the potential for bloodshed that makes guns and the Gospel a perfect match. It's also about the comfort one should get from attending church. You know how it is once you get a concealed carry permit. You become accustomed to having a big, long, hard, powerful piece of rigid steel stuffed down your pants. It gives a man confidence. Indeed, that's why we get the permits to begin with. That tell-tale bulge transforms accountants into warriors. I feel naked without it.

You know Our Lord and Savior will be sporting that bulge when He returns. After all, He brought a big ol' can of whoop-ass into the temple when he drove out the money-changing perps. It's too bad he didn't have an Armsel Striker "Streetsweeper" shotgun with him that day. Man, that would have been one hell of a righteous bloodfest.

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.