Dear Mr. Horsley,
I have terrible news--news that will most certainly affect you directly as an admitted mule romancer (audio). At this moment, the Florida legislature is acting to criminalize one of our most cherished heartland values, livestock love.
But that's not the worst of it. One legislator, Sen. Larcenia Bullard of Miami, discovered wording that would exempt the practice of "animal husbandry" from being prosecuted under the proposed law. Yes, you read that right. One of the Heartland's most cherished traditional values, livestock love, will soon be a violation of the law, but "husbanding" the same livestock will be allowed. Here's what Sen. Bullard had to say about it:
People are taking these animals as their husbands? What's husbandry...So that maybe was the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?We need your help to stop this legislative travesty. Are you available to testify about the special bond a man can have with his mule and how marrying it could starve the relationship of all its beauty and excitement?
Gen. JC Christian, patriot