It Happened To Alexa Foundation
Dear Mrs. Augello,
It was a bold move to ask Bill O'Reilly to host your fundraising luncheon. Most rape victim support organizations would shy away from inviting someone who blames victims for their fashion choices. But the Alexa Foundation is different. You're all about breaking paradigms, and I salute you for that.But now, the news that he sent a camera crew to stalk a woman--trailing her for hours before finally confronting her while she was on vacation miles from home--is likely to turn your O'Reilly appearance into a full-fledged PR crisis.
You're in a tough spot now. You can't really cancel it. He doesn't take "no"for an answer--that's especially true if it's a woman saying it. But you can't really go through with the luncheon either. Imagine the black eye you'd receive if the event were picketed by rape survivors.
I have a solution to your dilemma. Ask O'Reilly to do a fund raiser that can't be picketed. I'm thinking along the lines of one of those auction s where celebrities donate a few hours of their time to have dinner with the highest bidder. But instead of dinner, have O'Reilly re-enact one of his famous calls to Andrea Makris. What woman wouldn't want O'Reilly to attempt to seduce her over the phone while he's pleasuring himself with a ReamMaster 5000? For men, there's the lure of O'Reilly's description of his showering techniques--who could resist that. The bidding can all be done on-line.
And you could still hold the fund raising luncheon. Just replace O'Reilly with a speaker who is more positively identified with women's issues. I bet Joey Buttafuco is available.
I hope I've been helpful. Please let me know if I can provide more assistance.
Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblical, and no-spin zone kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
