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Friday, April 10, 2009

The Opinuary Column

The Opinion Guns don't kill people, people kill people has departed this veil of tears and joined its Heavenly Father in eternal bliss. Preceeded in death by the Opinion That's okay, it's not loaded, it will be laid to rest this Sunday, April 12th in the Bloodiest Little Angel's section of The Straw Man Cemetery in Athens, Georgia.

The NRA is inviting all who attend the funeral to bring their guns to the service and "Keep a watchful eye on each other."

In lieu of bullets, the family has asked that donations be made to the non-profit Our Cold Dead Hands support group.



  1. Getting rid of guns will not happen. Noting inane aphorisms that cloyingly tweak reality will continue...for now...

    I heard something on subversive radio recently that gave me a new perspective on mass murders: once someone decides to kill people with their guns they have become "suicide shooters" for there is no other outcome except capture. Many of these suicide shooters off themselves rather than surrender. Asymmetrical warfare, brought to you by the NRA?


  2. Aaron Kinney:

    An ass, by any other name.

    Mr. mjs, Sir:

    I'm thinking, just spitballing here, that as a first measure, we let them KEEP their guns in their cold dead hands. The more guns we bury, the less we have to look out for.

    And, as for the suicide shooters. Why not just leave a nasty note or video and whack themselves? People will not think they are worse for having done that, instead of killing other people.

  3. Anonymous9:29 AM

    how about:
    Guns don't kill people, people WITH GUNS kill people.

    When was the last time you heard of a drive by knifing?

    From Men in Black:
    You'll only get this weapon when you pry it from my cold dead hands!
    OK! If that's what you want.

  4. little soldier: the Opinion Guns don't kill people, people WITH GUNS kill people is alive and well and currently on assignment in Billings, Montana.

    demo: I like your idea of suicide shooters leaving a nasty note or video instead. Perhaps our MSM will pass that timely advice along?


  5. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    One can always hope that the MSM, like Sleeping Beauty, will arise from their long sleep (and not find out that Doc and Grumpy have been shtupping Dopey and selling "feels" of their ageless bodies to the local woodcutters).

    little soldier:

    I think the line was,

    "Offer accepted".

  6. Aaron Kinney:

    You are such a fucking dick. I used to think you were just obtuse. I've come to realize that when you stop getting your jonesing for masochism and can't find it elsewhere that you come by here, because you know that people will help you with that. You fucking asshole.

  7. And then there's this. Who knew it might have been loaded?

    A Fort Lewis soldier is dead after being accidentally shot in the head and killed by his wife in Olympia, the Thurston County Sheriff’s Office says.

    Lt. Chris Mealy of the sheriff’s office told KOMO-TV the soldier was teaching his wife how to handle a handgun when he was shot early Sunday. Mealy told The Olympian that the semi-automatic handgun was the soldier’s personal property.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.