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Monday, April 20, 2009

Vaccinations and the Mark of The Beast

Zsuzsanna Anderson
Pastor's Wife
Helpmeet
Faithful Word Baptist Church

Dear Mrs. Anderson,

You were on the right track in your latest tirade against vaccination, but, unfortunately, you failed to take it to the next logical step. Let's take a look at the key passage and I think you'll see what I mean. You wrote:
For example, one way to be able to identify all humans beings for life would be to inject them with a harmless virus that is unique to each individual. The body would then develop antibodies to that specific virus, and for the rest of his/her life, this person could now be identified after a simple blood test.
And? And? And? Well, isn't it obvious? I'm surprised that the wife of one of the few pastors sharp enough to identify the biblical prohibitions against sitzpinkling would miss something even more biblically important. These antibodies are the mark of the beast! Or as Pamela Atlas Shrugs would put it, "These ANTIBODIES are THE MARK OF THE BEAST (but she'd call it a "BARRY HUSSEIN OBAMA JIHAD SHARIA BEAST," but you know what I mean.)

BTW, did your husband, Pastor Anderson, receive an injection while he was in police custody at the hospital? Could they have given him the Mark of the Beast without his knowledge? Has he in turn injected you with it? What about Amanda?

Your post also touched on another issue that is almost just as important: the Global Conspiracy To Slaughter Our Babies:
This is an interestig [sic] article about the WHO's mass tetanus vaccination program in the 1990s in developing countries. It raised suspicions because only women of child-bearing age were vaccinated. After the vials were tested, it was found out that they were contaminated with hCG, a hormon [sic] women produce in order to sustain their pregnancy. After being vaccinated with it, women then developed anti-hCG, with the result of repeated miscarriages due to the anti-hCG in their blood stream.
Amazing. Think of all the children who could have been born and lived a few years before polio, measles, or whooping cough delivered them into our Savior's loving arms.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste and biblically appropriate kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

13 comments:

  1. Jesus loves me this I know
    But that love won't help me grow
    Sure it's sweet and kind of magic
    But disease is oh, so tragic

    Yes, Jesus loves me
    Yet he won't hug me
    He runs so far from me
    Something viral made him go...

    ++++

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  2. Whew! I'm glad that having her hubby's truck trashed, and him literally getting 1984's "boot smashing onto a man's face, over and over" didn't shake Zsuzulu's convictions that the Left Wing is bad. I guess it goes along with her basic belief system, that governments are leftist authoritarians. I know how those Border Patrol buggers are liberal ACLU tree-huggers.

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  3. Is she related to Lurch?

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  4. Hmm... Something unique with which to track every human in the country?

    Like a SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER??????

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  5. Wow. Where did you find Andre the Giant's grammar school graduation picture?

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  6. How do we know this immunization thing isn’t a communist plot to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids? I mean, really. How do we know?

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  7. Well, let's see - how could scientists come up with a way to uniquely identify humans by sticking a needle in them?

    1) We could genetically engineer 6 billion different viral strains (and more every day); or,

    2) We could take a q-tip, swap the inside of their mouth, and grab a DNA sample.

    Jesus loves me, this I know.
    And he's told me - where you're gonna go.
    There's lots of room for your kind - down below...
    Whoa-ah-ohhhhhh

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  8. I just don't see how one family can be so incredibly fascinating. They are truly awesome in every respect. How do they do it? How?

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  9. Alicia, I suspect it involves lead in their drinking water.

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  10. General sir!

    Permission to comment off topic sir! This trooper thought you and the rest of the troops might want to know about this piece of equipment. I think the godless liebral defeatocrats are using it to grow crack cocaine, sir!

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  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. For example, one way to be able to identify all humans beings for life would be to inject them with a harmless virus that is unique to each individual. The body would then develop antibodies to that specific virus, and for the rest of his/her life, this person could now be identified after a simple blood test.I find it cheaper and faster to just read their nametag.

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  13. I'm tellin' -- RepubAnon's stealing lines from the Austin Lounge Lizards! And he left out the best one: "Jesus loves me, but he cain't stand you."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.