Jesus' General: Young Baptist Preacher Takes Bold Stand

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Young Baptist Preacher Takes Bold Stand

He'll kick the ass of any false prophet who tries to preach from the pulpit he built in his living room.

bolo said...

I like how he pounds that Bible like bottoms pound the chest of tops in gay pornography. So I've heard.

mjs said...

In faith, I think that during his sermon he squirted or dribbled in his man panties. Angered by his fluid gaffe, he pounded the podium because he had just washed his shorts--having to wash them again without at least getting a half a day's use sent him over the edge.

I will rest now.

++++

7:07 PM

metalhead39 said...

wow! That clip has my testosterone going full blast!! I need to work it out somehow. Going through my Bible Buddies list now . . . be back later . .

7:53 PM

jcricket said...

Preachin' in your own living room is cool! You can say that your are both preaching in the House of The Lord, and preaching in your own house. Guess that makes you The Lord!

Wow. What an easy solution to a humiliating problem! Self-worth is a delicate issue, after all. (Especially after being rejected by the town Jezebel -- or so I hear).

8:01 PM

PhysioProf said...

It's the savior jesus' dartboard! Praise the lord and BULLSEYE!

9:03 PM

democommie said...

General, Sir:

That video is a bit grainy, do you think it can be enhanced? The reason I'm askin' how come is cuz if it was clearer I could tell whether that podium was made out of 1/2" OSB "Rated Sheathing" or the much superior 3/4" Sturdi-floor, T&G panels. I mean if you're gonna pound the shit out of a podium, you want one that won't turn to kindling the first time you whomp on it.

My inner frog, Chuckie, went out to fumigate the desert night with oneathem Galwozies but he ast me if I'd axe you if those guys are some native american religious group. He says that they'd have to be ripped to nards on peyote to act that fucking goofy.

9:39 PM

Monkey Allen said...

I can just see it now...he finishes his sermon, then heads to CiCi's for the "all you can eat" bounty provided by God hisssssellfff! Don't you just love these red-neck backwoods hay seeds who find God and decide they are His Mighty Messengers. Only in the dumb ass deep south are these clowns still out there convincing even bigger dumb asses to give them money and attention. That awesome plywood pulpit gets me in the mood for some snake handlin'!! Yeeeee Haww!!!!.

9:57 PM

BCCPipes said...

General, sir,

You couldn't have found more of a "doughy pantload" if it were David Brooks himself mawing down on an entire loaf of salmonela tainted Nestle's Cookie dough!

10:39 PM

BCCPipes said...

General Sir,

My appollogies to you and David Brooks. The one true "Doughy Pantload", of course, is non other than Jonah Goldberg. I have no excuse, it will never happen again. And, I will humbly accept demerit as the General sees fit.

10:52 PM

Alicia Morgan said...

I am impressed by the care he takes with his attire.

General, sir, what search terms do you use to find these golden nuggets of godliness? I long to know!

2:03 AM

Gen. JC Christian, Patriot said...

Alicia, these are Pastor Anderson's protégés

2:47 AM

Patriot's Quill said...

He's preaching in his house because he's preaching from Massachussetts, where it is illegal to preach the Gospel and believers have to do so illicitly in their homes. He's dressed like that so that they can all pretend they were just watching the game on TV, should the Great Leader's shock troops burst through the door. He's angry about people preaching the false gospel because last night his wife turned down his entreaties to oral lovin' by claiming (falsely) that the Gospel condemns oral lovin'

5:20 AM

Alicia Morgan said...

Oh my lord - the entertainment value! Morgantown, West Virginia is quite a jump from Tempe Az. The righteous fire burns brightly!

2:38 PM

Alicia Morgan said...

so why isn't Zsuzsanna pregnant again?

2:40 PM