Breaking News: WND's Farah Fingers Grandma as Obama's Mother

Joseph Farah
WorldNetDaily

Dear Mr. Farah,

I thought I had cracked the Obama birth certificate case with my discovery that he is, in fact, half reptillian alien, but now, you've made an even more shocking discovery: his grandmother is actually his mother.

Here's what you told the Crosstalk radio program:

Well, Madelyn Dunham is a very interesting person. As you know, Barack ... the ... and I want to be careful when he identify people as "mother," "father," "grandmother," and so forth because honestly I don't think we know with any certainty whatsoever who those players are in Barack Obama's life. And perhaps he doesn't either. I suspect he does, but it's possible he doesn't know. And it is entirely within the realm of possibility that Madelyn Dunham was his mother and there's a lot of circumstantial evidence to suggest that."

And as you also noted in that interview, that's why Obama suspended his campaign when she died. He had to run to her bedside to destroy the evidence.

But what kind of evidence couldn't be destroyed until until after she died? Papers could be burned at any time. Replacing all of her DNA would be impossible, unless somehow, his Vogonzuelan pal, Hugo Chavez, created some kind of DNA replacement technology as part of an effort to destroy our economy by making Big Macs taste like hamburger. Is it possible Chavez has finally done it?

Of course there's also the possibility that he had to remove a likeness of his father she had tattooed on her body somewhere. But that wouldn't fix the DNA problem. I have to go with the Chavez thing.

What's your theory?

I still believe that the Obama birth certificate I own is genuine. The lizard-like beings of the Slzrdian Socialofascist Empire would likely be in on any plot to hide Obama's parentage. It'd be part of their plan to take over America so they could secure the population (via health care reform) as a food supply. Certainly they'd understand that Obama's chances of acheiving the presidency would be lessened if the public learned that he was the product of an adulterous relationship. So they falsified the record, making Obama's sister, his mother.

It makes sense to me.

Heterosexually yours,

p.s. You know they're going to come after you with the Village People thing. Please rest assured that your secret is safe with me and my readers.

Elsewhere: Queen Elizabeth, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willy are lizards too.