I have no idea what these text messages mean.
From Utah:
(801): Just because I have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
(801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
From Washington DC
(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
(703): It's the American dream
(202): I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
(202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
(202): So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
(203): Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
(202): But what if he licks everyones ass?
From Washington State
(509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
(509): I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
(509): I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
(509): she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
(509): went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fall Fundraiser: Please give if you can.
Paypal
