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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

For they are brown and without belief

Tom Munson
Trijicon Inc.

Dear Mr. Munson,

"And the Lord, our Savior and Redeemer, shall make their heads explode in a mist of blood, for they are brown and without belief." Those were the words the Holy Spirit whispered to me as I first read about the secret Biblical citations you place on rifle scopes you sell to the military.

Surely, Jesus is very pleased. He would have been a faithful customer had your products been available back then. Imagine how different the Sermon on the Mount might have been if Jesus had a Trijicon Advanced Combat Optical Gunsight mounted on a .50 cal sniper rifle. No one would have bitched about the loaves and fishes that day.

"Is thou looking at me, thou loathsome licker of Samaritan secret parts?," He might have said, "because blessed are the mother knowers who doth offend me, for my mighty and terrible 750 gr Hornady AMAX hot load shall redeem their sins in a crimson mist of blood and brain matter."

You should consider engraving His Holy Visage on each scope--just a simple line drawing of our Savior, but with shooting glasses and the words, "Born to Kill" underneath. It could serve as a kind of icon for our crusading warriors.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to reader Col. SJK.

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  1. Thank you General, I always hesitate to kill someone before ministering to them in someway either before or during, "the deed". BTW is the Colonel SJK a Colonel in our Army or the other one.

  2. General, Sir:

    Wouldn't "Born to raze HELL!" be more apt?

  3. Blessed are the scopemakers, for they shall see God.

  4. Knowing that the full force of the Bible lies on that trigger makes one want to pull it ASAP to deliver those heathens!

    This shortens the deliberation time considerably, as knowabout points out.

  5. I no longer walk through the Shadow of the Valley of Death. Instead, I find myself a hidden location higher up on the surronding hills and then wait for some other poor bastard to walk through the Valley. My Scope is very precious to me.


  6. "It allows the Mujahedeen, the Taliban, al Qaeda and the insurrectionists and jihadists to claim they're being shot by Jesus rifles," he said.

    ah..isn't that the point?

    makes sense to me. Now all we need is something like Jesus smiling from the nose cone of a nuclear weapon.

  7. My first reaction upon hearing this story was "Oh yeah? What about those Koranasatanical she-ra verses that are inside the sniper scopes of the Mahometan armies besieging Constantinople and other territories throughout Christendom?"

    Then after listening to some meeja coverage of this issue, I heard militant officials from the Pentagram saying they were shocked, shocked, I tell you, to find out that there was Bibling going on there. So what good are these Beatitudes of the Blessed Bullets if no soldier gloms them?

    I say it's time to make the sermons on the scope plain as day. The Gen'l's suggestion about a line drawing of Jeebus is good, but what if those scopes fall into the clutches of the heathens when they pry them from the cold dead hands of some gallant soldier in the mountains of Yerbootistan? They could sacrilegify The Image of Our Lord! Plus it's kinda hard to make a 900-foot-tall Jesus with lightning bolts shooting out of His Eyes fit inside a narrow scope.

    I think a simple engraving of "Kill For Jesus" would do. If you need to shorten the inscription to fit, make it "Kill 4 Jesus" like the young folks do in text messages, or "Kill 4 (Sign of the Cross.)

    I don't know how to make that come up on the computer. Maybe DemoCommie does. He knows those secret symbols. And you're not going to tell me that computers, an all-American invention, don't have some way so's you can type The Blessed Sign of the Saviour.

  8. Don’t make me break out the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. ’Cuz you know I’ll do it.

  9. General, Sir:

    All of the brave target killers I've been bantering with on various blogs seem to be of two minds about the actions of Trijicon. On the one hand, they din't do nuttin' dislegal, on tother, they did it like supercryptoturbo secrety.

  10. Could you imagine the state of affairs if God wasn't on our side? We'd be bogged down in an unwinnable guerilla war in a near goverment-less desert hellhole on one front. On another, we'd probably end up in a country trying to tear itself apart due to underlying (false) religious, ethnic & tribal alignments. Terrorist attacks globally would have increased. We'd probably never even get bin Laden!!

    It is only due to the will of our saviour, Jesus Christ, and the devotion of companies like Trijicon that we have won the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq turning them into their current states as democratic, consumer heavens. bin Laden has been caught, decapitating Al-Qaeda. Lay terrorists have all been killed off and no new terrorists are being created.

    Praise the lord and his super accurate scopes of righteous heaven delivery!

  11. And remember:
    Each terrorist(all brown people are) has been lovingly chosen to be delivered into baby Jesus' arms with a clean headshot, only possibly with a Trijicon Jesus Scope.

  12. For Bukko:

    Looks like there's three Christian crosses in the Unicode "dingbats" set:

    ✝ ✞ ✟

    I guess one of them could be used for crosshairs... :/


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.