Public Television's New Direction

Wick Rowland Jr. PhD
President, KBDI Public Television

Dear Dr. Rowland,

I think your station is on the verge of accomplishing great things. Your decision to broadcast the documentary, “Camp FEMA: American Lockdown,” has given you the freedom to finally tell the truth about such hidden scandals as Bill and Hillary Klinton's murder spree in Mena, Arkansas, the coming lamb-boy scourge, Obama's intergalactic origins, and Proctor and Gamble's pact with Satan.

And perhaps it also frees you up to tell my story. Socialists implanted a chip inside me. It happened when the tax gestapo arrested me back in '95. I'll never forget that night in jail. Government thugs held me face down and shoved the chip deep inside my cave of shame. They must have been inexperienced, because it took them many hours and dozens of attempts to get it right.

It's a story that needs to be told. I'd be happy to help you write it or even reenact it if you'd promise to play some Barry White music.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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