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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Professor Values

I didn't think the god-fearing folks at Conservapedia could churn out something more enlightening than their piece on Hollywood values, but I was wrong. Their "professor values" entry is nothing short of brilliant (in a non-hoity-toity, non-fancy-thinking kind of way):

An extremely high percentage of professors disagree with conservative principles, replacing them with the amoral, relativistic philosophy of postmodernism.[1] Professors' common value system typically includes atheism, antichristian politics, censorship, socialism, unjustified claims of expertise and knowledge (for example, the dogmatic promotion of the theory of evolution[2]), liberal beliefs, liberal grading, liberal bias,[3] anti-patriotism, lack of productivity, bullying or discouraging conservative students (for example, homeschoolers),[4][5] and promotion of sexual immorality.[6][7]

Yes, it's true; they make us do bad things with our wee wees.

10 comments:

  1. All of that is absolutely true. I should know: My World-War-II-combat-veteran, Catholic-seminary-attending, Loyola-University-professor father was a well known islamolibcomtatheistofascist Darwinian who begat 11 children. And he wasn’t even Irish. The randy bastard.

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  2. That's a truly great parody site! My word, they are so deep undercover they make it look like they mean what they write! Top notch snark, what?

    ++++

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  3. " Stephen Hawking is a modern day Gulielmus Shakspere, minus the illiterate father AND daughter" KellyOxford's GhostWriter ( revised )

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  4. Conservapedia: This is the setting on the clothes washer that ensures that the colors are not mingled; the risk of colors running together are at a minimum.

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  5. They left out the man-on-dog sex. Everybody knows that's a professorial value. Just ask my dog. Or look at the "A" I got in poly-sci.

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  6. I can't believe they forgot to say anything about that Mr Peabody on their list of professor values. I'm pretty sure that talking dog screwed up a whole generation of kids by making that boy Sherman look so stupid. I know that's what made me to take up the evil of evolution, just so I could feel superior to that bespectacled dog.

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  7. General, Sir:

    I always loved the Dogmatics, but after Wendy O. left I think they got really MOR and blase.

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  8. Reading even a little of conservapedia cost me IQ points.

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  9. One word: Projection.

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  10. the good conservatives at conservapedia don't need no fancy book learnin'

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.